[LMG]LMG RSS Feed 
[Search][Projects]A Moment Of MooreMe and Belle de Jour TimeMachineGo Evening Standard Headline Pictures [UK Bloggers]
London Bloggers [Comic Blogs][Other Blogs] | 7 February 2012
[funny] Excerpts From Steamy Romance Novels for Parents of Young Children … ‘Their eyes met across a landscape of wooden blocks and small cars and plastic dinosaurs that really hurt if you stepped on them at night while getting a child a sippy cup of water. He searched her face for exhaustion, and found it.’
23 January 2012
[funny] In Which I Fix My Girlfriend’s Grandparents’ WiFi and Am Hailed as a Conquering Hero … ‘The people did beseech the warrior to aid them. They were a simple people, capable only of rewarding him with gratitude and a larger-than-normal serving of Jell-O salad. The warrior considered the possible battles before him. While others may have shirked the duties, forcing the good people of Ferndale Street to prostrate themselves before the tyrants of Comcast, Linksys, and Geek Squad, the warrior could not chill his heart to these depths. He accepted the quest and strode bravely across the beige shag carpet of the living room…’
9 January 2012
[comics] Charlie Brooker on Batman: ‘There’s a new Dark Knight film out this year. Calling Batman “the Dark Knight” is like calling Papa Smurf “the Blue Patriarch”: you’re not fooling anyone.’
19 December 2011
[xmas] All I Want For Christmas…
13 December 2011
[funny] Go Look: The Most Awkward Family Christmas Photos … Worth visiting if only for photo #20 which is what my nightmares are made of.
1 December 2011
16 November 2011
[comics] Bruce Wayne’s Medical Records … ‘By far the greatest contributor to patient’s ongoing morbidity are his multiple and seemingly ceaseless musculoskeletal injuries. The most significant of these was sustained several years ago, when he was rushed to GCGH with several fractures of his lumbar vertebrae, reportedly after falling while rappelling. Skeletal series obtained at that time revealed numerous (>20) areas of orthopedic injury in various states of healing, which could not be fully explained by recent fall, including areas of all extremities and many ribs; confirmatory bone scan similarly showed many areas of increased uptake. Patient’s robust stature is not consistent with osteogenesis imperfecta, and skin biopsy was negative for abnormal collagen and P3H1 or CRTAP genetic defects. Malignancy was suspected, but eventually ruled out following oncology consultation. Patient explained most of these (and most subsequent) injuries as being the result of membership in a private and apparently quite intense mixed martial arts club. Patient has denied being the victim of domestic abuse by Mr. Grayson following indirect and direct questioning on numerous occasions.’ [via jwz]
11 November 2011
[funny] Man Killed To Death …
2 November 2011
[comics] Hark A Vagrant: Tycho …
20 October 2011
[work] Sick Days, Then and Now …
17 October 2011
[amazon] The 10 Best Amazon Reviews Ever … this doesn’t mention Henry Raddick (a fantastic Amazon reviewer who was once interviewed by Andrew Orlowski) so isn’t complete by any means. However, this great review for a container of Wolf Urine compels me to blog it: ‘Even though it has a rather short and crisply defined finish, I still believe this has the composition and acidity to age well in the cellar of any self-respecting urine connoisseur.’
28 September 2011
[funny] Go Look: A Journalists Guide To Firearms Identification. [via YMFY]
21 September 2011
24 August 2011
[funny] Go Look: Herbert West, Data Entry Specialist … ‘REAL MEN DON’T USE MENUS.’
19 August 2011
[web] Google’s Official List of Bad Words … ‘boob, boobs, booobs, boooobs, booooobs, booooooobs, breasts’
17 August 2011
15 August 2011
[funny] Ineffective Pick-Up Lines for the Modern Internet Persona … ‘My Klout score is an 83, which makes me a Thought Leader. There’s a lot of pressure to stay relevant and forward thinking, when you’re that influential. A few sub-par tweets and I could be downgraded to Specialist. I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with being a Specialist… you’re not a Specialist, are you?’
10 August 2011
[books] Library Sign: I Like Big Books…
4 August 2011
[funny] Go Look: ‘We Start With The Number Of Children Born To Billionaire Parents Each Year… ‘ [via Sore Eyes]
30 July 2011
[funny] Go Look: Due To Physical Violence Shit Faced Mondays Have Been Cancelled.
27 July 2011
[comics] Alan Moore and Demi Moore …
14 July 2011
[dailyfail] Hear Me Wail … Pictures from the Daily Mail of people looking sad while standing next to or holding the thing that has made them sad.
12 July 2011
[funny] Daily Mash: Rebekah Brooks Must Know Some Serious Shit …
As James Murdoch closed the most successful newspaper in the western world rather than sack a devious harpie, experts said that harpie must have some weapons-grade shit up her sleeve. 8 July 2011
[press] Has Rebekah Brooks Been Sacked Yet? … ‘No’
5 July 2011
[life] Notes For A Young Gentleman … ‘A gentleman should never be seen to handle money, except in a brothel or a casino.’ [via YMFY]
30 June 2011
[tv] How to be… a Top Gear presenter … ‘The key attribute required of a Top Gear presenter is unerring devotion to the idea of the car as history’s most perfect vehicle. This devotion must be so irrational that, if anyone dares to suggest something is better than a car – perhaps a boat, or a train, or a BMX, or a bobsleigh, or a jet fighter – you must feel compelled to immediately challenge one to a race.’
23 June 2011
[books] Famous Opening Lines From Novels Updated For The Modern Age … ‘Call me Ishmael_65.’
21 June 2011
[funny] The Stages Of Sleep …
20 June 2011
[docu] The Loving Trap … perfectly done parody/hatchet job of Adam Curtis. [via Meg]
19 June 2011
[movies] Blade Runner Updated … What if Deckard’s computer was running Windows XP? [via Forbidden Planet Blog Log]
16 June 2011
[text] Bacon Ipsum … Generate a meaty Lorem ipsum … ‘Bacon ipsum dolor sit amet tri-tip flank tenderloin, pork chop beef tail cow pork belly rump venison ribeye pork pig. Pastrami strip steak shank salami hamburger venison, pig flank beef pork loin rump. Bacon meatball tongue, rump sirloin corned beef shoulder. Shankle tri-tip shank strip steak, pancetta sausage corned beef shoulder pork chop tenderloin. Jerky beef chuck, beef ribs jowl t-bone brisket ham hock venison salami sirloin ground round pork belly bacon. Pig ham hock pork chop pancetta tongue salami. Sausage meatball short loin, pastrami bacon ham boudin venison.’
12 June 2011
[funny] Arty Bollocks Generator … Create an instant artistic mission statement with no effort … ‘My work explores the relationship between acquired synesthesia and emotional memories. With influences as diverse as Wittgenstein and John Lennon, new synergies are crafted from both simple and complex meanings…’
5 June 2011
3 June 2011
[royalty] The Queen Mother’s Little Note … “I think that I will take 2 *small* bottles of Dubonnet and Gin with me this morning…”
1 June 2011
[funny] Dr Johnson On Adam Curtis …
12 May 2011
[tv] The Most Stupid Quiz Answer Ever? … ‘Andrew and Vanessa – the contestants in question – had been doing so well in the Channel 4 game show. But then came the fateful Bannister question. In 1954, did he go into space, run a sub-four minute mile or become the first man ever to put the toilet seat down? Andrew and Vanessa ummed. They ahhed. Then, out of nowhere, Andrew had a breakthrough. Eyes burning with pure knowledge, he shouted “I think I’ve seen ‘Bannister’ written on a toilet!” Vanessa was more cautious, wailing “Who KNOWS this?” before eventually agreeing on the toilet thing as well.’
9 May 2011
[funny] The Super-injuncted Crossword Puzzle … ‘6 Across – Shagged his wife’s sister’s former best friend whilst still married to her.’
7 May 2011
[blog] I Curate The Internet … brilliantly done image Tumblr. Do check out the archives. (Some NSFW content)
28 April 2011
[royals] Friday April 29, 2011: A time to clean the fridge … ‘It is a moment in history when a nation united by not being at work and a lack of normal television will stand up, chests inflated with pride, and say ‘I might as well have a go at the fridge. Does nan want a cup of tea while I’m up?’ Remember it well, that you might share with future generations the fond memory of its cleaning-based magic.’
12 April 2011
2 April 2011
29 March 2011
19 March 2011
16 March 2011
15 March 2011
[funny] Unreliably Witnessed: ‘A banker, a Daily Mail reader and a benefit claimant are sitting at a table sharing 12 biscuits…’
11 March 2011
[movies] Behold: The Nicolas Cage Matrix … ‘Cage more than anyone has two distinct types of movie: serious, po-faced, issue movies and balls-out, crack-piped, bug-eyed brainwrongs.’ [via A Smursh Of Pete]
 7 March 2011
[art] (Fake) Gilbert and George Are On Twitter …
Lucheon. Prolific as ever, we masturbated onto a stamp while soup simmered. Food: adequate. Stamp: no longer usable in any practical sense. 1 March 2011
[quotes] Found Quotes, 3 … The problem with Internet quotations is that many are not genuine. — Abraham Lincoln
14 February 2011
2 February 2011
[guardian] Their Questions Answered … a blog that attempts to answer the rhetorical questions posed on the letters page of the Guardian Weekend magazine every week … ‘No rhetorical questions were posed in the Letters page of the Guardian Weekend magazine, Saturday 15 January 2011. As a result we are going to spend the next week reassessing our lives and purposes.’
27 January 2011
20 January 2011
[food] How An Englishman Cooks Breakfast [via iamcal] …
There are many different ways to cook eggs but most of them are purely of interest to invalids, children and the feeble-minded. The correct or ‘proper English egg’ is fried with lightly browned edges in the fat left over from the bacon. At the last minute, oil is flicked over the top of the yolk to seal it. This dangerous procedure causes the yolk to form a perfect, golden, viscid capsule, the violation of which with a rough shard of toast, is the nearest that an Englishman will permit himself to unbridled sexual ecstasy. 26 December 2010
[tv] Christmas Night Fail From Yesterday TV – Nazi Collaborators All Nighter … a history TV channel’s idea of Christmas entertainment!
19 December 2010
[funny] Study: Women Always Answer Their Phones Unless They’re Having Great Sex With Someone Else … ‘The study emphasized that while women who failed to answer the phone were almost unquestionably with someone else enjoying the most volcanic sensual escapade they’d ever had, there was also the possibility that they were busy gazing deeply into another man’s eyes, knowing and feeling a type of love they had never known or felt before.’
13 December 2010
[comics] “YRUBB ORUTOO DA YREEMB UYON – – KRYPTONIU EWYRR!” … Mike Sterling on Kryptonian: ‘I suppose, once I have a spare decade and a complete collection of Superman comics, I can catalog the different ways Kryptonian has been represented over the years. Then I can finally fulfill my dream of opening a Kryptonian language camp for underprivileged children, and we can compete with the Klingon language camp across the lake… but perhaps I’ve said too much.’
|
