linkmachinego.com

27 August 2000
[savile meme hoax] Excellent, compelling reading — a HOAX transcript of out-takes from Have I Got News For You between Ian Hislop, Jimmy Savile and Paul Merton. If only it were true… [Related Links: Hoax Confirmation, Tsluts, the Savile meme spreads]
26 August 2000
[adrian mole] Adrian Mole on Nick Bateman: ‘I have been brutally betrayed! I feel humiliated and sick! How could he have told such terrible lies to me over the past five weeks? I admired him so much. He was the type of man I would have liked to have been myself. He was a man who could cope with adversity (the death of his young wife in a car crash). A man who led other men (an officer in the Territorial Army). He was also a healer (like Jesus), and a reiki master to boot.’
25 August 2000
[america] Oh dear… Polly Toynbee gets a shower of Hate mail from the US‘You are nothing but an intolerant American-hating bigot. You can’t stand the fact that America is so rich and powerful while you live in a pathetic third-rate country that is of no significance at all. I see no reason why America should pay any attention to the whining, pissing, shitting, moaning and groaning of a bunch of idiots like you. The rest of the world has no right to expect us to share our wealth with it. It is our money, not the world’s. Bush will win in November. I hope when he wins you have a stroke and it kills you and all your fellow Eurotrash die from shock as well. America Uber Alles! Fuck the world!!’
23 August 2000
[jesus loves you] Good Lord! Christian sandals with Jesus Loves You written on the soles! “As I was thinking of more ways to reinforce goodness, God instructed me to cut out an old inner tube and glue the letters SUSEJ SEVOL UOY backwards onto the bottoms of sandals. When I was finished, it was raining. I walked outside and up onto a dry wooden deck and left JESUS LOVES YOU all over the deck. It was awesome, and I knew this was a wonderful new way to spread the good news.” [via ChrisH]
22 August 2000
[chegwin porn!] My referrer logs tell me that many people come to LMG to look for naked pictures of Keith Chegwin… which always makes me laugh. Apparently he’s refusing all requests to show clips from the gameshow he appeared nude in again and according to BBC News a video of the program is about to be released which he will make a hefty profit from. LMG will link to the video as soon as it’s available. :) [Related Links: Channel 5 criticised in Commons, Original LMG posting, Original notsosoft posting]
21 August 2000
[god is dead] Guardian Passnotes profiles Friedrich Nietzsche. ‘Didn’t he love his fellow man? No: “Many too many are born. The state was devised for the superfluous ones.” Didn’t he regard women highly? No: “Goest thou to woman? Forget not thy whip.”‘
13 August 2000
[adrian mole] Adrian Mole is the best thing about the Guardian on a Saturday… ‘Ivan went on saying to my mother, “This is an authentic working-class experience, isn’t it, Pauline?” His eyes were shining with excitement. He is turned on by vulgarity. It is why he fell in love and married my mother. My mother drew heavily on her St Moritz menthol fag with the gold-rimmed filter and said, “Ivan, I’m no longer working class. I read the Guardian and buy coffee beans now, or hadn’t you noticed?”‘
10 August 2000
[young william] A Guardian reporter follows in William Hague’s footsteps around Rotherham attempting to drink 14 pints in the process. Not surprisingly he gets a little drunk… ‘”He was in my class at Wath Comprehensive and he was a prat even then,” says Sharon, when the incredulous laughter finally subsides. “A prat. The first week of school, he stood in front of the class – nobody else did this – and his mum was standing beside him, and he said, ‘I would like to introduce myself. My name is William Hague and I’m looking forward to being at school with you all.’ I never slept with him,” she adds, as if it would have been only natural to have wondered. “He’s trying to be a Rotherham man,” says Liz, “and all Rotherham men drink a lot.” It is becoming increasingly clear that I’m never going to pass for a Rotherham man.’
[my inner child] The Law of Playground is one of those sites you can spend all day looking at… ‘”I’m watching a series of programmes on bullying on the BBC2 learning zone, and I feel really fucking bad. People hang themselves about the stuff we laugh at, for god’s sake!’
8 August 2000
[simpsons] The Interactive Ralph Wiggum ‘”I saw Principle Skinner and Ms. Hover in the closet making babies, and I saw the baby and it looked at me”‘
7 August 2000
[distortion] Phony Blair — amazing 3D distortion of Tony Blair, requires Pulse Player. [thanks to Yungee]
2 August 2000
[gonzo] Hunter S. Thompson shoots assistant whilst chasing bear off his property. Here’s a link to the Guardian’s Passnote on the matter. ‘”First, never hesitate to use force, and second, abuse your credit card for all its worth.” (Thompson’s rules for a good life.)’
28 July 2000
[orgy] Hacker’s orgy — fails because nobody shows up… ‘Only two people showed up, and now the would-be Dionysus is trying to recoup some of his costs by selling the shirts for $15 each. In retrospect, he realizes the orgy was probably a bad idea from its conception. “The idea came out of a conversation on IRC [Internet Relay Chat],” he says. “We were bitching about how hackers never get laid.” Even at an orgy.’ [via Guardian Weblog]
26 July 2000
[comics] Jesus: The Dark Messiah Returns. Fantastic… ‘The water on my head feels like a baptism. Because it is. I’m born again. Again.’
25 July 2000
[star wars] Star Dudes: The Bad Dudes Strike Back
10 July 2000
[tv] What will happen to The Philisophical Car Lot if Frank Butcher leaves Eastenders? G-g-g-g-go!!
3 July 2000
[norfolk] Nothing interesting ever happens in Norfolk. “The women then began to strip off to distract them further, and the men escaped to their faded red Ford Granada, before trying to run the villagers down. One villager smashed a window of the car, and the raiders fled before the police arrived.”
17 June 2000
[uk/us] American Xenophobes’ Guide to the British Great Britain is a very old country with many treasures, such as the Millennium Dome and the Diana Museum and the Millennium Dome. Among its contributions to Western civilisation are Mrs Thatcher, mad cow disease and beer. [via Nutlog]
14 June 2000
[BOFH] Who wants to marry a SysAdmin? “There’s no time to waste. We’re all getting fatter and paler by the second. Hook up now before we can’t keep track of our processes anymore and our hair forks all to hell.” [via Just Daz]
18 May 2000
[mp3] Two amusing links: Kid Rock starves to death – MP3 piracy blamed. Metallica’s new CD [both via Metafilter]
16 May 2000
[anarchy] Seen on the tube today — the wisdom of Eric Cartman: “Capitalism sucks ass!” and Moon at the Monarchy 2000.
2 May 2000
[weblogs / tech] WinerLog — very funny if you visit Dave Winer’s Scripting News. Speaking of disconnects, I got an email from Dave Userland support. It begins “We’d like to stop hosting winerlog.” Weird. We’d say, “Sure Dave, whatever you want, because we love you!!!!!!!”
24 April 2000
[funny] TVGoHome is pretty much the funniest thing on the web. Even its submissions guidelines are amusing: “We run very few listings whose title is a weak and obvious pun on an existing show: i.e. Changing Wombs, Ainsley’s Big Cock Out, Blind Rape, Scooby Poo, etc etc.”
16 April 2000
It’s been a “Whassup?” kind of weekend: Star Wars Wassup [via Camworld]
15 April 2000
[funny] South Park Wassup? [Via Ghost in the Machine]
[funny] Superfriends Whassup?
7 April 2000
[BOFH] The BOFH interpretation skills test. Which side are you on?
3 April 2000
[funny] Report from The Onion: New E-Toilet To Revolutionize On-Line Shitting. “In the near future everyone will shit on-line.”
20 March 2000
Ralph Wiggum: “Help! She’s touching my special area!”
10 March 2000
New book from O’Reilly: Tactical Systems Administration