linkmachinego.com

July 21, 2009
[funny] For Sale – Do You Want A Porn Laptop?‘It runs internet pretty fast and I already have about 200 favorites of porn sites saved in my favorites for firefox. It works for porn perfectly, but not big or fast enough for music/video editing or any of that. I wouldn’t type any credit card info with it though, like I said it has some viruses and spyware…’
July 17, 2009
[funny] So I Had Sex With A Piñata – From Photo’s on TV … (if i had a Tumblr this would have been on it) … [via DYFL!]

So I had sex with a Piñata...

July 14, 2009
[batman] What Batman Needs…

What Batman Needs...

July 11, 2009
[doom] Doomwatch … calculating what we should be scared of today .. ‘Right now, the Daily Mail thinks you should be quaking in your boots about: murder, swine flu, iran, north korea, thatcher.’
June 26, 2009
[1984] Caught On Cam: Here Lies Eric Arthur Blair‘There was of course no way of knowing whether you were being watched at any given moment. How often, or on what system, the Thought Police plugged in on any individual wire was guesswork. It was even conceivable that they watched everybody all the time. But at any rate they could plug in your wire whenever they wanted to. You had to live—did live, from habit that became instinct—in the assumption that every sound you made was overheard, and, except in darkness, every movement scrutinized.’ [via a Smursh of Pete]
June 22, 2009
Random YouTube Insult Generator‘I found the journey of the protagonist both humorous and enlightening. Just kidding. This video is nut sack sweat.’ [via Metafilter]
June 16, 2009
[funny] Dr Manhattan is… Awesome.
June 7, 2009
[happy] Happiest People Ever! … a blog collecting photos of really shiny happy people (not).
June 4, 2009
[funny] Han Solo, P.I. … Star Wars done in the style of Magnum P.I.’s opening credits. [via Waxy]
May 26, 2009
[press] The Daily Mail Dictionary‘Cancer: a life-threatening disease caused by everything, and cured by everything else.’ [via Moreish]
May 25, 2009
[funny] Well Well Well… What Do We Have Here?


Well Well Well... What do we have here?
May 24, 2009
[funny] Glanced At: She just forgot(more…)
May 6, 2009
[movies] Top 13 Stupidest Decisions In The History Of Horror Films‘Building your house on top of that old cemetery.’
May 5, 2009
[funny] Let’s Say You’ve Gone Back In Time … useful document for all time travellers …‘Insulin can be extracted from the pancreas of dogs and pigs by tying a string around the pancreatic duct. Inject this extract and it will act as a miraculous treatment. Forget Banting and Best. Take the credit.’
April 30, 2009
[blogs] Texts from Last Night Blog‘my mouth tastes like poor choices’
April 27, 2009
[funny] Ask Mefi: I would like a comprehensive list of each offense Ferris and his friends commit during the movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”‘There are many cases of fraud in the movie. For example, when one kid is asked, “Do you know Ferris Bueller,” he responds, “Yeah, he’s getting me out of summer school.” [..] Oh, and in theory, Cameron’s father could go after both Ferris and Cameron for grand theft auto of the Ferrari.’
April 24, 2009
[funny] God is on Twitter‘I could post 141 characters if I wanted to.’ [via @BeaucoupKevin]
April 21, 2009
[funny] Go Look: Escape From Thom Yorke [via David McCandless]
April 19, 2009
[tv] Disturbing Strokes … the opening to Different Strokes set to music from a horror film … ‘This has turned out far more creepy than I thought it would.’
April 15, 2009
[funny] Uncomfortable Plot Summaries … from postmodernbarney.com‘DAREDEVIL: Blind man pisses off crime boss, gets all his girl-friends killed.’
March 31, 2009
[comics] Rejected Rorschach Blots … from Kyle Baker. [thanks Tam]
March 22, 2009
[comics] Advice Rorschach Says… ‘American Love – Like Coke In Green Glass Bottles… They Don’t Make It Anymore.’ (more…)
March 19, 2009
[comics] Just Imagine… Social Media’s Watchmen … a twitter from Ozymandias via BeaucoupKevin.
March 16, 2009
[comics] Advice Rorschach Says…

Advice Rorschach Says...

March 13, 2009
[funny] Motivational Wolf Says… ‘If You Never Give Up… You Never Lose.’
March 5, 2009
[comics] rorschachsdiary … if Rorschach had a blog it would be on Livejournal… ”yet another example of government oppression: hear scans_daily down for good. irritated; will not have to pay money to find out how the black freighter spin-off turns out. expect veidt behind it…” [via jzw]
February 24, 2009
[funny] Sasha Obama Keeps Seeing Creepy Bush Twins While Riding Tricycle Through White House‘As disturbing as her encounters have been, Sasha claimed that the sounds of incessant typing emanating from the Oval Office in recent days are what worry her the most.’
February 15, 2009
[funny] The Tiger Mike Memos … amusingly controlling management memos from an oil company in the 70’s …

tiger-mike-memos-toilets

February 12, 2009
[tv] The Sopranos, Uncensored‘This is every single curse, from every single episode of the sopranos, ever.’
February 3, 2009
[funny] Glanced at: Scissors beat Paper(more…)
January 30, 2009
[funny] The 1982 Version of Guitar Hero … [via David McCandless]

1982 Version of Guitar Hero

January 29, 2009
[comics] Obama Disappointed Cabinet Failed To Understand His Reference To ‘Savage Sword Of Conan’ #24‘[Robert] Gates told reporters he may have gotten off on the wrong foot with the new president, citing an occasion when Obama asked him what he knew about 1984’s Secret Wars, a 12-issue limited Marvel release. Gates then handed a visibly confused Obama 1,400 classified pages on covert CIA operations in El Salvador. Later, the defense secretary attempted to find common ground with Obama by making casual references to the comic book Spawn…’
January 21, 2009
[funny] Making Light: The true history of the Bush years … as told by the Onion. I’m Really Gonna Miss Systematically Destroying This Place: ‘Still, I have to admit, sometimes I think I could’ve dismantled so much more. The very fact that the environment still exists, that a mere 4,000 troops have died in Iraq, that there is still the slightest glimmer of hope for the future left in this nation—it’s easy to feel like maybe I didn’t do my job. But no, no, there’s no use having any regret. I fucked everything up the best I could and that’s good enough for me.’
January 6, 2009
[funny] Let’s look back on the year to come … David Mitchell on the events of 2009 … ‘James Bond to commit suicide in next film: Bond purists were outraged by the news that the suave womanising superspy hero will finally lose the will to live at the end of the next movie, Die and Live Death is Golden Casino Gun Depression (working title).’
[funny] The Great British Sandwich … there are some odd layers in that there sandwich! …‘Help build the world’s tallest sandwich’ [via Mondo a-go-go]
December 18, 2008
[funny] Periodic Table of Awesoments‘Aristole postulated that all good things were made of “win.” That was a pretty good guess, but he was drunk and probably also having an orgy. Modern day awesominers know there are actually 118 fundamental “awesoments” that compose all good things…’ [via The Daily Chump]
December 5, 2008
[funny] The Charlian … Charlie Brooker takes over the Guardian’s front page … On his incompetence: ‘It recently took me 21 days to get round to replacing the lightbulbs in my kitchen, which for several weeks had been blowing one-by-one until finally the room was plunged into darkness. For 21 days I had to feel my way into the room like a blind man, then prop open the fridge door in order to have enough light to be able to see. Your eyes get used to it after a while. So does your brain. It became a routine. Soon opening the fridge felt as natural as flipping the light switch. Standing there, chopping onions in the artificial gloaming, all felt well with the world. It took an incident with a broken glass on the floor and a shoeless foot to nudge me in the direction of the nearest lightbulb stockist, and even then I instinctively used the fridge as an impromptu lamp for another two days before re-acclimatising myself to the concept of ceiling-based light sources.’
[ lolcats] Don’t Worry, I’m From Tech Support(more…)
December 1, 2008
[tv] Every House Episode Ever … [via Robot Wisdom]

Sidebar: Diction – Doctors are smart. You can show this replacing regular words with Doctor words.

Wrong: “Dammit House, you’re such a whiny bitch!”

Right: “Dammit House, your self-flaggelistic nihilism and anarchistic negation is just compensation from your hidden vulnerability!”

November 22, 2008
[funny] Hitler’s BNP membership gets leaked‘The neighbours are going to find out aren’t they?’
November 20, 2008
[funny] lolgriffin‘I HAD A MEMBER DATABASE BUT I LOSTED IT’
November 15, 2008
[funny] Good / Bad / Meh Things To Say During Sex‘Madre Mio!’
November 10, 2008
[funny] Next on BBC1: Armageddon



November 7, 2008
[funny] Matt Webb’s 100 Head Cattle Drive 2008 … go help Matt achieve his dream …‘I like small plastic cows. I don’t know why. I haven’t owned any until today. For many years I have wanted a herd for my home. Perhaps 100 or so. Yes, 100 would do nicely. DO NOT ASK ME WHY. (I think it would be a neat thing.) … A promise: IF I GET 100 × SCHLEICH HOLSTEIN OR FLECKVIEH COWS, I WILL DONATE £500 TO A CHARITY CHOSEN BY MAJORITY VOTE.’
November 2, 2008
[funny] Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs; ‘Oh, Shit’ Says Humanity’

“I believe I speak for the entire human race when I say, ‘Holy fuck,'” said Oceanographic Institute director Dr. James Aoki, noting that the dolphin has a cranial capacity 40 percent greater than that of humans. “That’s it for us monkeys.”

November 1, 2008
[funny] The secret of happiness is t…

The secret of happiness is t...


October 31, 2008
[funny] Can you take a velociraptor with a crowbar?‘So it happend that you pissed of a Velociraptor. You where lucky to bring a crowbar to the fight, but the Velociraptor is fast, fearless and racist. Can you take it?’
October 17, 2008
[tv] In “Stop the Pigeon” – the cartoon with Dick Dastardly and Mutley – what was it that the pigeon was carrying that was so important that it had to be stopped?‘I remember from a book I owned as a child that eventually Dick Dastardly got hold of the pigeon’s bag and found it to contain birdseed.’
October 16, 2008
[funny] ‘I Am Under 18’ Button Clicked For First Time In History Of Internet … from the Onion‘In an unprecedented and historic event Monday, the “I Am Under 18” button, an Internet security device which if selected restricts access to websites featuring adult content, was clicked for the first time ever. “I knew I could simply claim to be over 18 and continue onto my desired destination, but I also realized that I would have to live with that lie for the rest of my life,” said local resident Garrett Kinley, 17.’
October 14, 2008
[movies] The Way Movies Were in the Seventies




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