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November 11, 2019
[xmas] And in the eleventh month… Diamond Geezer preaching about the early arrival of Christmas. ‘And the angel answered and said unto her, It’s never too soon to start buying seasonal provisions, which is why the shops are full of them already. An early start is important to allow poorer folk, like shepherds, a longer window to stock up on essential festive goods, like tubs of peanuts and chocolate Santas. Would you like a mince pie? The sell-by date is next week, so I need to finish off the packet before then.’
December 25, 2018
[xmas] The Ambominable Snowman … by b3ta.com user (a)lexistwit.

December 24, 2018
[movies] 25 Horror Christmas Movies Ranked From Worst To Best According To Rotten Tomatoes‘Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) – Tells the tale of Billy Chapmen, orphaned at 5 after witnessing the murder of his parents at the hands of a Santa suit-clad madman on Christmas Eve. Now 18 and out of the brutal grip of orphanage nuns, Billy is forced to confront his greatest fear, sending him on a rampage, leaving a crimson trail in the snow behind him.’ [via Feeling Listless]
December 21, 2018
[xmas] How drunk can you get on Christmas food? I breathalysed myself to find out … Stuart Heritage eats himself drunk. ‘With a nice buzz going, I crack open a brandy-loaded Frosty Snowflake iced fruit cake. The report says two slices will get me over the limit – so I hack off a quarter and stuff it into my face as fast as I can. My breathalyser reads 1.2% BAC. Booyah! I am hammered, and it is only 9.47am. You know what? Let’s keep this party going.’ [via Feeling Listless]
December 20, 2018
[movies] Batman Returns, The World’s Greatest Holiday Movie … Amusing list of thoughts on Batman Returns. ‘Oh, Penguin. How preposterous that this gross man with disgusting eating habits, tiny hands, awful hair, repugnant behavior, and no prior political experience could be considered a viable candidate! Oh, wait. Oh GOD.’
December 19, 2018
[xmas] Scarfolk Council’s Christmas Boy … It’s Christmas in Scarfolk. ‘Family members would often take turns standing in the front windows of their homes where they mimed laughter in the desperate hope that the Christmas Boy would pass them by. He rarely did…’

December 18, 2018
[music] Of Course You Hear What I Hear — Christmas Music Season Is Totally Data-Driven … How music-streaming services and Radio work out what songs to play at Christmas and when to start. ‘Any half-decent band will cut a quick holiday track every now and again. It was McDonald’s job to develop an algorithm to find that song and make sure nobody hears it on Spotify radio for most of the year. “We actually have a fairly intricate mechanism to try to identify Christmas music,” McDonald said. First, he builds a list of obvious holiday songs. He then identifies the albums those songs appear on. Then his algorithm looks at all the other songs on those albums to see how often they appear elsewhere, and will try to decide if they’re Christmas songs by iterating the process to figure out which songs only appear on other Christmas albums. The process isn’t infallible, but after enough repetitions, McDonald said, “we have a pretty good idea of a fairly complete universe of Christmas songs.”’
December 17, 2018
[xmas] Christmas Links 2018 … Worth a click – Stuart over at Feeling Listless is collecting seasonal links as he did in 2014, 2015, 2016 and 2017.
December 25, 2017
[comics] Ken Reid’s Christmas Crackers … gallery of British Christmas comics by the creator of Roger the Dodger, Frankie Stein and Faceache.

December 24, 2017
[tv] The 1978 Radio Times: Christmas TV, before Thatcherism ruined it … a look back at Christmas TV in the late Seventies … ‘In 1978 we had “special guests”, “stars” and “presenters” but I could find only one mention of the word “celebrity” in the listings, used in relation to David Soul, in a programme on 29 December. “David Soul epitomises the star of today. He is the new-style Hollywood celebrity,” we were informed. We quickly got back down to earth, though: the programme was followed by Citizen Smith, the sitcom starring Robert Lindsay as Wolfie Smith, leader of the revolutionary Tooting Popular Front.’
December 22, 2017
[xmas] The Rees-Mogg Christmas Special … Jacob Rees-Mogg on Christmas. ‘One thinks often of that little child – born so very long ago in a simple manger in Bethlehem and his loving parents. Not for them the hideous EU enslavements of ‘compulsory inoculations’ or ‘maternity leave.’ Certainly they had to contend with the ‘massacre of the innocents’ but that was as nothing when compared to the enforced ‘EU legislation’ that has brought despotic workers’ rights or ‘the freedom to travel’ to millions of enslaved Britons. As we look back on that first Christmas Day – let us remember the true Conservative legacy of Christ’s Life – that if one is born in a stable, one might still climb to the very top – but only if one is of the ‘right stock.’ Jesus was the ‘son of God’ and not just any old riff-raff.’
December 21, 2017
[xmas] The true meaning of Christmas: HAIL SATAN / CONSUME FLESH

Hail Satan / Consume Flesh

December 20, 2017
[xmas] Coca-Cola didn’t invent Santa … the 10 biggest Christmas myths debunked‘Advent begins on 1 December — Advent begins on the nearest Sunday to St Andrew’s Day on the 30 November. So, this year, Advent began on 27 November. The idea that it starts on the same day every year was put about by the manufacturers of Advent calendars, so that they could use the same design each year and sell off old stock.’
December 19, 2017
[xmas] 32 Things Guaranteed To Happen In The Office During Christmas‘At the Secret Santa draw you will absolutely get the one person you didn’t want to get, the person who you barely know, like Darren who works in IT or something.’ [via Feeling Listless]
December 18, 2017
[xmas] Have a Creepy Little Christmas with These Unsettling Victorian Cards

December 6, 2016
[politics] What Theresa May’s Christmas plans tell us about her faith … brief examination of Theresa May’s religious faith from The Guardian … ‘There are two times a year when politicians talk about faith – Christmas and Easter. No one would listen at any other time.”’
December 25, 2015
[comics] “Never Kill A Santa Claus” By Nick Cardy [via Forbidden Planet’s Blog] …

Never Kill A Santa Claus

December 24, 2015
[xmas] All You Need To Know About Brussels Sprouts‘34% of family arguments start by someone being honest about their hatred of sprouts.’
December 23, 2015
[xmas] The Evolution of Christmas … Diamond Geezer on the way Christmas has changed in the UK …

mid 1990s Xmas: Demand to see the Double Issue Radio Times

mid 2000s Xmas: Demand to use your parents’ PC to check your email

mid 2010s Xmas: Demand your host’s wifi password the minute you enter their home

December 22, 2015
[religion] The Scientology Christmas Catalog Is Totally Insane … a look inside The Scientology Christmas Catalog. The Hubbard Professional Mark Ultra VIII™ E-Meter (Price: $5,000) – ‘Please note that the Mark Ultra VIII comes with free electrodes! “Our gift to you,” the copy says. Why, you’d practically be losing money if you didn’t buy the thing now. These electrodes look like anal-probing suppositories, but you actually hold them in your hand while the church’s local hired goon audits you. I assume the fancier e-meters come with free nipple clamps.’
December 11, 2015
[xmas] Office staff terrified after dyslexic co-worker organises Secret Satan‘Workers have described how their festive decorations this year have included lights which flicker disconcertingly and a CD which is either Cliff Richard’s Greatest Christmas Hits or the tormented squealing of a thousand damned pigs, it’s difficult to be sure.’
December 7, 2015
[xmas] Here Are All the Things You’re Going to Have to Do In December … Vice on the Festive Season… ‘Mulled wine that you make at home with a decent bottle of red and an orange studded with cloves and sugar and spices gently crumbled and tied in muslin bags and warmed gently on the stove for hours until the kitchen smells like Christmas and then you take a special mug (you bought special mugs) and decant a cup and lift it to your lips and: oh, it’s just hot wine. You’ve made hot wine. Two hours, that took. Hot wine.’
December 25, 2014
[xmas] ‘Jingle Bells, Batman Smells-‘

Batman Slapping Robin At Christmas Meme

December 21, 2014
[comics] The Sensual Santa‘Be a Sensual Santa! It’s Contagious!’

The Sensual Santa By Dan Clowes

December 20, 2014
[xmas] Find the hidden words in Santa’s Christmas word search‘HAIL SATAN / CONSUME FLESH’
December 25, 2013
[xmas] A Ghost Gave Me Triplets! Xmas Horror! – Epic Christmas Misery from That’s Life! Magazine …

Christmas Misery From That's Life Magazine

December 24, 2013
[xmas] Did Coca-Cola Invent the Modern Image of Santa Claus?‘Santa Claus is instead a hybrid, a character descended from a religious figure (St. Nicholas) whose physical appearance and backstory were created and shaped by many different hands over the course of years until he finally coalesced into the now familiar (secular) character of a jolly, rotund, red-and-white garbed father figure who oversees a North Pole workshop manned by elves and travels in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer to deliver toys to children all around the world every Christmas Eve.’
December 20, 2013
[tech] 11 parental IT support issues you can expect if you go home this Christmas‘No, change the screen resolution back, please. I prefer all my windows to be blurry and weirdly elongated.’
December 17, 2012
[xmas] Unicode Holiday Xmas Tree ☃ … a collection of festive Christmas Tree made out of unicode characters to send to friends and family … ‘Each tree is made of valid, semantic, and imageless HTML and CSS!’
December 19, 2011
[xmas] All I Want For Christmas…

Rationalist Christmas Card

December 17, 2011
[xmas] The 27 Worst Nativity Sets … As prophesised there is a bacon and sausage nativity.
December 13, 2011
[funny] Go Look: The Most Awkward Family Christmas Photos … Worth visiting if only for photo #20 which is what my nightmares are made of.
December 25, 2010
[comics] Merry Christmas From Paradax!… by Brendan McCarthy

Merry Xmas From Paradax

December 20, 2010
[history] Probably The Most Inappropriate Christmas Card Ever Sent‘The year is 1938, and you’re looking for a suitably seasonal picture for the front of your Christmas cards. A festive image which will convey seasonal goodwill to all humanity. What could better symbolise those eternal truths than an international peace treaty signed by the two major European powers which had once been at war?’ [thanks Phil]
December 10, 2009
[comics] The Comics Reporter’s Holiday Shopping Guide ’09 … great selection of comic gifts to buy this year … On A Drifting Life: ‘Very few if any reviews of this massive autobiographical work from the great Yoshihiro Tatsumi note how completely mad it is on a certain level to follow a young man around as he reads and draws comics over the space of several decades. This book more than has the courage of that particular conviction, and I’ve never seen any artist invoke the relationship-warping monomania of creativity as well as Tatsumi does here.’
December 17, 2008
[comics] Alan Moore Christmas Strip from 1979

alan-moore-xmas-cartoon1

December 19, 2007
[comics] On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me… — a Christmas Special from Chris’s Invincible Super-Blog.
December 12, 2007
[xmas] Santa putting children’s information at risk, warn experts‘Data protection laws lay down strict conditions for the use of personal data and there is no evidence that Claus has an adequate compliance programme in place. Children across Britain who write letters to Claus with a list of gift requests are not told for how long that data is kept, or if it will be used for other purposes such as marketing by third parties.’
December 27, 2006
[xmas] Attack of the Sprouts — sick of sprouts? Try this game to release some tension… [via Minor 9th]
December 26, 2006
[xmas] A News of the World Christmas — from Pandemian.
December 25, 2006
[xmas] Merry Christmas to Everyone … from President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran. [via Blah Blah Flowers]
December 22, 2006
[comics] Have A Cosmic Christmas, Earthlets! — a slightly bonkers Kevin O’Neill Christmas Cover for 2000AD.
December 19, 2006
[xmas] Professor Richard Dawkins Speaks at Fair Hills Kindergarten Regarding Santa Claus — a ‘short imagined monologue’ from McSweeneys‘I can see that the topic makes many of you uncomfortable. However, this should not be viewed as a bad thing. You may weep now, but your tears are a positive, not a negative. You are now facing the truth, which comes in many forms and is not always comfortable. This is a fact that you will be exposed to again and again throughout your lives. If you wish to live a life that contains only comfortable information and not necessarily the truth, then yours will be a highly deluded existence. Your intellectual maturity depends on whether or not you are capable of accepting the truth at this early age. That is why there is no better place to begin than with the absurdity that is Santa Claus and Christmas Magic.’ [via Kottke’s Remaindered Links]
December 3, 2006
[xmas] ‘Tis the Season — an Xmas blog from Anna and Meg. Also worth checking out is Meg’s Mince Pie Mania Flickr Group: ‘This group is all about capturing the ultimate Mince Pie. It’s a Christmas favourite but no-one can agree on what makes it just right. Some argue it’s the deep fill mince, others the shortcrust pastry and others still prefer half and half. I’m on the half and half side but your challenge this Christmas, should you chose to accept, is to get photographing those Mince Pies…’
December 27, 2005
[ebay] eBay Auction: Cooked, Unwanted Christmas Dinner Item!‘You are bidding on One Cooked Brussels Sprout’ [via Random Acts of Reality]
December 25, 2005
[xmas] Happy Christmas Everybody.
December 23, 2005
[toys] The Toy That Ate Christmas — the Guardian looks at the story behind the Roboraptor. ‘… when Roboraptor behaves “intelligently” you catch yourself feeling impressed, and when it doesn’t, you catch yourself responding as you would to a clumsy toddler, rather than as you ought to respond to an assemblage of 132 plastic parts, 235 metal ones and 191 electrical components. But Roboraptor is not, primarily, intended to be cute. “This is the first robot that really has the ability to scare small children,” Tilden says proudly. “Our previous robots could annoy your cat. Roboraptor can hunt him.” All this is achieved with a radically simple design: the toy’s decision-making circuits are modelled on the chip in a musical Christmas card.’
December 15, 2005
[movies] Letters to Walken — amusing Christmas Letters to Christopher Walken … ‘Mr Walken, Please, will you come Dance at my Birthday Party?’ [via linkbunnies.org]
December 7, 2005
[distraction] Vote Chris Christmas Rodriguez To Replace Santa This Christmas.
December 23, 2004
[xmas] Santa Moblogged: Reject False Icons [via Die Puny Humans]