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20 November 2000
[underground] Guardian Unlimited has a revealing portrait of what it’s like to work for London Underground written by an insider. ‘The only behaviour, apart from rudeness, that can be safely relied upon is acute stupidity. Almost everyone who travels on the underground seems to be braindead by the time they reach the station. People constantly come and ask where to go to get the train and are then surprised to be told to go down an escalator. Sometimes they walk out of another exit back to the street. Even if there are only two platforms and two escalators, no questions are too humiliating to ask. Some ask where the Southern line is, so they can get back to where they came from that morning! There is no reasoning with these people, who take their right to be cretinous as God-given, and when the odd sarky remark slips out all hell breaks loose.’
[comics] Long, fascinating interview and profile of Warren Ellis from PopImage. ‘And yeah, I think I do suffer a backlash in terms of personal regard – it really doesn’t affect the sales, sales continue to go up, whatever I do, which if anything probably indicates that the comic fans who hate me the most are insincere swine and buy the shit anyway. [Laughs] I mean, it happens all the time. When I was back on HELLSTORM I’d get these letters from hillbilly Christians who live up in the mountains, they’d say “YOUR COMIC MAKES US HURL. WE BUY IT EVERY MONTH”. I’ve actually got that letter at home from these hillbilly Christians who were genuinely sickened by the work, and bought it every month to be sickened. And that’s the comics fan.’ [ Related Links: warrenellis.com]
19 November 2000
[comics] Peter Bagge in Suck: The Most Resented Woman In America. ‘I was barely even aware of Miss Hawaii (or Angela Perez Baraquio, to be exact) during the preliminaries, though she certainly made a good impression when it counted the most (“She turned her GLOW BUTTON up a notch,” our resident pageant/hair expert commented).’
[wtf?] British tabloids are reporting the Queen wrung the neck of a wounded pheasant with her bare hands… ‘”Under the headline “The Killer Queen”, the Sunday Mirror published photographs which it said showed the Queen putting the bird out of its misery at the end of Saturday’s first pheasant shoot of the winter at Sandringham, a royal estate in Norfolk. “She killed the helpless creature with her bare hands while watching Prince Philip and guests blasting birds from the sky,” the Mirror’s tabloid stablemate, the Sunday People, said in its report.’
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[first post] New first post… not.so.soft starts up earlier this year… and the design actually lasts three whole months… Amazing. ‘7.2.00 I don’t think I’ve ever really counted myself as a fan; I just like what I like. Although, now I come to think about it, I did go through a phase of thinking that I could marry a certain pop star. Hey, I was eleven. (If you want to know who it was, tell me why you need to know and I’ll see…)’To add some meat to the bones of my lazy meta-blogging I chatted with Meg on Friday about her first post, not.so.soft and redesigns… ‘That’s not actually the first weblog post ever, though – there’s a text file somewhere for half of january – but february was the first attempt at designing it. And although my blogging style has changed enormously since I began, that first post eerily echoes forward to a lot of what I do nowadays – I make a statement, provide a link, relate it to me and then ask for feedback. The difference now is that people actually write to me when I prompt them to – and I love it. :o)’
18 November 2000
[reading] The Mezzanine by Nicholson Baker. “My left shoelace has snapped just before lunch. At some earlier point in the morning, my left shoe had become untied, and as I had sat at my desk working on a memo, my foot had sensed its potential freedom and slipped out of the sauna of black cordovan to soothe itself with rhythmic movements over an area of wall-to-wall carpeting under my desk, which, unlike the tamped-down areas of public traffic, was still almost as soft and fibrous as it had been when first installed.”
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[comics] The full script of Sam Hamm’s Watchmen movie adaptation is online. ‘EXT. LIBERTY ISLAND – THAT MOMENT – DAY — as a LUMINOUS BLUE-SKINNED GIANT, SIXTY FEET TALL, wades through the harbor and steps up onto the island. He stares in dismay at the demolished statue . . . like a modern-day Colossus of Rhodes wondering what the hell happened to his date. Meet the last — and most powerful — member of our happy band: DR. MANHATTAN. Down below, THE COMEDIAN and SILK SPECTRE — battered but intact — are crawling out of the wreckage. The COMEDIAN looks up at the huge blue figure looming over them, and shakes a gnat-sized fist. COMEDIAN: ASSHOLE! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!?’ [via Haddock]
17 November 2000
[weblogs] Don Hon’s Blogtrumps. Collect the Set! Jason Kottke vs. Matt Webb ‘ Hair is actually blue as it is travelling faster than light and therefore blueshifted. Can travel in time.’
[comics] Warren Ellis talks about the early years of 2000AD. ‘I started reading it when it began, just about a week after my ninth birthday, in 1977. Available in every newsagent’s in the country. The cover and back cover were colour. So was the centrespread. The rest of it was black-and-white, all inky on pulp paper. Your hands used to get sooty if you re-read it too much. The ink was so badly fixed that you could lift entire images off the page with Blu-Tack. There’d be five stories in each issue. JUDGE DREDD was in there every week, of course – it got the colour centrespread as well as the three or four pages that followed. At least three of the four other stories would be episodes from serials. Usually, one of the stories was a “Future Shock”, or one of its variants like “Time Twisters” – a self-contained science fiction short, usually with a hard twist in the tail.’ [ Related Links: 2000AD Links Project]
16 November 2000
[turkey shoot] Matthew Parris provides brilliant insight into the House of Lords as they discussed reducing the age of consent for gay sex to 16… It’s like something out of Royston Vasey… and it costs us 31 million pounds a year to pay for this group of inbreds and idiots: ‘The Earl of Longford insisted that homosexuals “should not be condemned”. The Earl (94) illustrated what he meant by not condemning: “homosexualism” was a sad disorder, he said, like schizophrenia and chronic alcoholism. Seduce a girl of 16, he added, and that was a dreadful shame. But seduce a young man and he would “become a rent boy”. Lord Selsdon said that he had “eaten the private parts of a green monkey”.’ [ Related Links: BBC News Story, Transcript of the Debate, link via the ever dependable Blue Ruin]
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[distractions] Nice site… pixelflo. Contains many distractions… I especially like the fridge magnet toy.
[internet] Questions are being asked about the public WHOIS database…. is it right that names and phone numbers are freely available on a globally accessible database if you register a domain-name? ‘Names, e-mail addresses, postal addresses and telephone numbers for more than 24 million domain names are stored in databases called Whois. The information is available to anyone with an Internet connection. It’s like a global phone directory — without the option for an unlisted number.’ [via Slashdot]
15 November 2000
[turkey shoot] Rate Vanessa Feltz on amihotornot…. Where’s the zero?
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[distractions] UK Gangsters and Hardmen Webring. Dave Courtney: ‘I drove to Woolwick station and said to the geezer behind the counter, “can I have a return ticket, please?” “Where to, guv?” he chirped cheerily, so I shot back with my best puzzled look… “back here, you daft bastard,” I said and marched out, chuckling my nuts off.’
[blogs] The New Yorker article on weblogging is on the web… ‘One day, I met Meg and Jason for breakfast. Jason, who is twenty-seven, is tall, with short hair and sideburns; he was wearing jeans and a Princess Mononoke T-shirt. She ordered a tofu scramble and soy latte, he had real eggs.‘
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[distractions] Very useful: ‘ Where are the cats?‘ in various lauguages…. German — ‘Wo sind die Katzen?’ or Japanese — ‘Nekotachi-wa do ko de suka?’
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14 November 2000
[cartoon] Steve Bell on the US Presidential Elections… ‘Electile Dysfunction’
[movies] Guardian Unlimited interviews Joel Schumacher about his new film Flawless. ‘”Well, my friend David Geffen always says, ‘The devil is the one who comes with the biggest pay cheque.’ And I say to him, ‘You ought to know.'” And what about him? Has he ever felt that he sold out, sold his soul even? “Only on Batman and Robin. There was simply too much pressure, and that breeds fear and conservatism. I was in merchandise meetings with Walmart and K-Mart and McDonald’s, and you’re being told to make the film more ‘toyetic’, which means you can sell toys off the back of it. That was the only time when I felt that the box office was more important than the story.”‘
[comics] In the DC Universe Election 2000 has been decided… Lex Luthor Wins! ‘Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, went on record saying: “I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him; there’s something rotten in Denmark.” Wayne would not elaborate on Luthor’s alleged involvement in Scandinavian domestic affairs, and refused requests for further comment.’ [via Ghost in the Machine]
13 November 2000
[news] No News is Good News… interesting interview. ‘There are examples on almost every single news programme you ever hear or see on TV or radio. What truly interests these programmes is death and suffering, and the wider the scale of it, the more they’re interested. They ignore ninety per cent of the world unless something spectacularly violent or unpleasant happens there, like a ferry disaster or disco burning down, or something like that. But those are really just hors d’oeuvres. What they really like is something they can wring a lot of juice out of, which means something that happens closer to home. The Dunblane Massacre was the ultimate news-journalist’s wank-fantasy. It had everything — violent death, suffering of the innocent, enormous amounts of emotional pain. Everything they love to linger over and rub our noses in while they wank themselves to orgasm after orgasm of fake sympathy and self-righteousness.’
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[listening] Yesterday I listened to Voodoo Ray by A Guy Called Gerald for the first time in years… ‘Riding on the current trend for Acidy sounding tunes, Voodoo Ray charted back in 1989 rising to number 12. Very distinctive with it’s simple bass line, hypnotic vocals and 808 tinkles.’
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12 November 2000
[reading] Jurrassic Park by Michael Crichton: ‘”But we have soothed ourselves into imagining sudden change as something that happens outside the normal order of things. An accident, like a car crash. Or beyond our control like a fatal illness. We do not concieve of sudden, radical, irrational change as built into the very fabric of existence. Yet it is. And chaos theory teaches us,” Malcolm said, “that straight linearity, which we have come to take for granted in everything from physics to fiction, simply does not exist. Linearity is an artificial way of viewing the world. Real life isn’t a series of interconnected events occurring one after another like beads strung on a necklace. Life is actually a series of encounters in which one event may change those that follow in a wholly unpredictable, even devastating way”. Malcolm sat back in his seat, looking towards the other Land Cruiser, a few yards ahead. “That’s a deep truth about the structure of our universe. But for some reason, we insist on behaving as if it were not true.”‘
[politics] The Thrill of Agony and the Victory of Defeat[ ?] The Observer covers what happened next as Gore prepared to concede the election to George Bush…. ”Circumstances,’ he said, once through to the Governor of Texas, ‘have changed. I need to withdraw my concession until the situation is clear’. ‘Let me make sure I understand, Mr Vice-President,’ said Bush. ‘You’re calling me back to retract your concession’. ‘There’s no need to get snippy about it,’ said Gore. Bush replied that his brother Jeb was the Governor in charge of the Florida ballot. Gore’s voice retorted: ‘It may surprise you but your younger brother is not the ultimate authority on this.’ ‘Mr Vice-President,’ said Bush’s voice, ‘You need to do what you have to do.”
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[tedious autobiography] Yesterday: sofa bed, a nice cup of tea, Madness – Embarrassment, more tea, Guardian, Vogue, David Grey sickness!, Alpen, Napster, Winamp, produce Teresa’s pre- Dogstar Mix CD, yet more tea, shower, “What is ukbloggers?”, tube, Oxford Street, Selfridges, Top Shop, Starbucks, “ Minogue has tiny deformed ears!”, rain, bus, rain, bus, “You’re always threatning to get your hair cropped but you never do…”, wine – pizza – eco [yum!], More on Minogue’s ears… rain, tube, Rollerball, blog, David Grey – Babylon…
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11 November 2000
[comics] Bugpower provides a link to a fantastic in-depth interview with Alan Moore. ‘Like, I’d have sworn that my interest in Jack the Ripper started in 1988 but then when my mum died and we went through her house, we found a big suitcase in which there was a load of old books and comics and things that I’d had when I was a kid, including two or three centrefolds from The Sunday Mirror, which were dealing with Jack the Ripper and I’d obviously clipped them for some reason. I didn’t remember doing it but obviously I’d had an interest in Jack the Ripper from the age of about twelve or thirteen. So I guess that these kind of themes, these ideas, they probably run all the way through our lives like a kind of developing music, that the basic kind of chord patterns are there right from the beginning, probably, but they just become more elaborate, or more penetrating or more deeper.’
10 November 2000
[reading] Books Unlimited interviews Chuck Palahniuk. ‘For Palahniuk the male protagonists of Fight Club are human spirits in revolt against the deadening destinies society that allots them. Many of his friends are teachers and, like teachers here, they often com plain that education is increasingly about schooling children for niches rather than educating them to create their own place in the world: “They’re taught to accept the world the way it is. I felt that all of my schooling was to get me a good corporate job so I could be a good corporate citizen, pay my taxes, live politely and then die.”‘
[weblogs] Another first post from a weblog…. LukeLog kicks off with… ‘Well, it’s happened. Thanks to the exhortations of Meg, I’m now a bloggin’ machine. Git on up! So this is the first post. Welcome to my *tiny* world. Next stop? I’m moving to more refined digs soon.’
[comics] One of my favourite, underachieving [he should do more!] comic artists: Philip Bond — This is Planet Bond. Check out the revamped Betty and Veronica or a sketch of Mick Jagger’s hand[?].
9 November 2000
[politics] BBC News covers the presidential election between Nixon and Kennedy in 1960: ‘The campaign became an increasingly dirty one, with mud-slinging and accusations of dirty tricks on both sides. The Kennedy camp uncovered a story that Nixon had regularly attended parties with prostitutes at the Florida home of his friend Bebe Rebozo. They were about to release the story to the media when they found out that Kennedy had also been a party guest.’
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8 November 2000
[tv] Anne Robinson: “ Matt you are the weakest link. Goodbye” ‘My nadir came in round six, when – even though I had answered all my questions correctly – I was chosen for elimination by my two remaining rivals, the Sun and the Express. A tabloid conspiracy. Now it was my turn to endure the “walk of shame”. Even though I had performed the best in that round, Annie turned to me and declared: “Matt, you are the weakest link.” Compounding my sense of rejection, she turned away even before she got to the final, mocking “Goodbye!” At the losers’ interview, I was asked how it felt to be voted off despite having been the strongest. “It’s a travesty of justice and an insult to my intelligence,” I complained.’
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[politics] Media Nugget of the Day covers the US Presidential Elections. ‘Any way you cut it, 2000 will go down in history as a classic.’ and the Onion — Bush or Gore: ‘A New Era Dawns’ ‘”My fellow Americans,” a triumphant Bush or Gore told throngs of jubilant, flag-waving supporters at his campaign headquarters, “tonight, we as a nation stand on the brink of many exciting new challenges. And I stand here before you to say that I am ready to meet those challenges.”‘
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[uk weblogs] It’s moving day on gb.weblogs.com… the recently updated UK weblogs list is moving to over to it’s new home on GBLogs [there’s a link to a floating pop up version on this page]. Big thanks to Jen.
[reading] Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Train ’72 by Hunter S. Thompson. ‘On page 39 of California Living magazine I found a hand-lettered ad from the McDonald’s Hamburger Corporation, one of Nixon’s big contributors in the ’72 presidential campaign: PRESS ON, it said. NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN TAKE THE PLACE OF PERSISTENCE. TALENT WILL NOT: NOTHING IS MORE COMMON THAN UNSUCESSFUL MEN WITH TALENT. GENIUS WILL NOT: UNREWARDED GENIUS IS ALMOST A PROVERB. EDUCATION ALONE WILL NOT: THE WORLD IS FULL OF EDUCATED DERELICTS. PERSISTENCE AND DETERMINATION ALONE ARE OMNIPOTENT. I read it several times before I grasped the full meaning.’
7 November 2000
[science] I have two brains… one in my stomach! How cool is that? ‘This ‘second brain’ is made up of a knot of brain nerves in the digestive tract. It is thought to involve around 100 billion nerve cells – more than held in the spinal cord. Researchers believe this belly brain may save information on physical reactions to mental processes and give out signals to influence later decisions. It may also be responsible in the creation of reactions such as joy or sadness.’ [via Bloglet]
[politics] Guardian Unlimited covers the brains behind Bush. Scary. ‘Olasky also believes that liberal journalists have “holes in their souls” and practice “the religion of Zeus”, which came as something of a surprise to the east-coast press. “What could he mean?” they wondered. Frank Rich, a veteran columnist at the New York Times, and one of those accused of having a hole in his soul, said: “He still hasn’t told me whether the religion of Zeus goes in for Bar Mitzvahs.”‘
[pictures] An image of Piss Christ — which I’d never seen. I was expecting something a bit more extreme and blasphemous to be honest… ‘Medium: Esoteric medium’
6 November 2000
[radio] Media Guardian takes a look behind the scenes on the BBC’s Today Programme. ‘The corporation has whole armies of executives whose job it is to fret about the output. One old hand said to me, after a piece I did about Mo Mowlam and her problems with Downing Street: “Very interesting. Very controversial. Are you sure you got your facts right?” They worry about politicians. But they particularly worry about the press. Each morning, huge piles of cuttings arrive for each executive, containing every mention of the BBC over the previous 24 hours. Papers are regarded with unhealthy reverence. They are seen as founts of all wisdom when they break political stories and, far too often, criticism of the corporation leads to anguished meetings.’
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[weblogs] First posts from weblogs. Number 1 in a series…. Barbelith… Tom starts as he means to go on… ‘I am unemployed, almost completely out of money, single and love-free, my flat is a disaster area and I can’t seem to get a handle on the redesign of Barbelith. Still, mustn’t «KVETCH».’
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[mobiles] Nishlord provides an exciting new service for self-important people with mobile phones. ‘NISHLORD.COM’s WAP (or whatever the fuck it’s called this week) service is different. It actually gives mobile phone users the information they need – a constant reminder of what an annoying cunt they really are. Whenever the moment arises, a vital message informing you that no-one, absolutely no-one, is the slightest bit interested in what you have to say, ever, will flash up.’ [via Meg— sorta]
5 November 2000
[weblogs] Dirk shows us the fundamental interconnectedness of all weblogs… ‘Captainfez.com contains a weblog. Duh.’ [via Plasticbag]
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 [reading] My Dark Places by James Ellroy. ‘It went bad from there. It went bad with self-destructive logic. It went bad slowly. The voices came and went. Inhalers let them in. Liquor and enforced sobriety stifled them. I understood the problem intellectually. Rational thought deserted me the second I popped those cotton wads in my mouth. Lloyds called the voices “amphetamine psychoses.” I called them a conspiracy. President Richard M. Nixon knew I murdered my parents and ordered people to stalk me. They hissed into microphones wired to my brain. I heard the voices. Nobody else did.’ [My Dark Places is by turns, a stunning, brilliant and above all a disturbing book. I read it first in 1998 and since then I’ve read it at least once a year… Certainly in the top five books I’ve ever read.]
[politics] The Sunday Times discovers evidence of cocaine being snorted within the Houses of Parliament. ‘At least the myth has been destroyed that if people start out on a soft drug, they end up on heroin. That they end up on the Tory front bench is not an enviable fate, but it is not quite as bad as lying in a gutter with a needle sticking out of you.’
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[burchill] Julie Burchill is still on form… ‘”Home” is where the people we love are. And once they’re gone, no cooking smells, stencilled borders or roses around the door will make it home again. It’s time we stopped kidding ourselves otherwise, put down our mindless implements, stopped our endless fidgeting and enjoyed our loved ones while we can.’
[tags: Life][ permalink][ Comments Off on More from Julie Burchill…]
[distractions] Fantastic Amateur Secret Radio Decoder Outfit [Shockwave] — designed by Chris Ware… [ Related Links: Decoder Home Page]
[news] Wonderful stuff… Pravda’s view of Britain — British Society at a Crossroads: Police start to carry guns. ‘Unfortunately, there is no turning back. As the police force arms itself with Walther P990 pistols and Heckler and Koch MP5 rifles, the marginal elements will arm themselves with sub-machine guns, creating a spiral of violence which can easily spin out of control, if it has not already. The violence in modern societies is unfortunately the norm, rather than the exception. The drugs trade is the symptom, but not the cause, of this social cancer. The cause is an inability for people nowadays to enjoy simple values, work for the community, cultivating themselves and others in a spirit of human solidarity. Solutions for this tragedy would be a welcome topic of discussion’ [ Related Links: BBC News story]
3 November 2000
[comics] Warren Ellis talks about children and comics… ‘This has all been kickstarted by a conversation on my message forum. An intelligent and kind woman gave out comics as treats to little Hallowe’en trick-or-treaters. (Our street was full of children drenched in burning lighter fluid and someone yelling “Trick, you little fucks! Trick, I say!” Sounded like me, but I’m sure it wasn’t.) (This is something many of the Forum members did, by the way.) (Gave away free comics, not squirted children with lighter fluid and chucked lit matches at them.)’ [Related Links: Warren’s Message Forum]
[weblogs] Woo-Hoo! Tanya’s back. From I Hate Music on Manic Monday by the Bangles: ‘There are six other obvious words which rhyme with Monday. Sunday is one. Funday and Runday are not. Oh and Suzanna Hoffs can wipe that grin off her face. This burning isn’t an eternal flame, but it lasts long enough to incinerate your shortarse winsomeness.’
2 November 2000
[reading] Something Happened by Joseph Heller: ‘I get the willies when I see closed doors. Even at work, where I am doing so well now, the sight of a closed door is sometimes enough to make me dread that something horrible is happening behind it, something that is going to affect me adversely; if I am tired and dejected from a night of lies or booze or sex or just plain nerves and insomnia, I can almost smell the disaster mounting invisibly and flooding out towards me through the frosted glass panes. My hands may perspire, and my voice may come out strange. I wonder why. Something must have happened to me sometime.’ [I’ve attempted to read Something Happened many times in the past but always got smothered by Heller’s / Slocum’s prose. It’s just to much. I’m hoping that by posting this “recommendation” I’ll find the will to finish what I suspect is a brilliant book… ]
[fuel] Guardian Unlimited compares and contrasts the real 1930s Jarrow Marchers with the farmers and hauliers behind the fuel tax protesters. ‘The contrast with the self-employed hauliers and farmers, running the campaign for a 26p cut in fuel duty, could scarcely be starker. Although some of the farmer activists have been hit by the slump in agricultural prices, evidence of other fuel protest organisers’ prosperity can be seen in BMWs, Volvos and Mercedes parked outside their meetings. Protest leaders include Nigel Kime, spokesman for British Hauliers Unite and owner of a £2m haulage firm; Derek Mead, protest coordinator in Somerset, who owns a 1,600-acre dairy farm; and Derek Lynch, who owns a Kent haulage business.’
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[comics] Luke follows up on Eddie Campbell’s struggles with Australian customs and apparently gets an email from the great man himself for the trouble… ‘I find it laughable and more than a little worrying that I can go down to my video store and rent Slumber Party Massacre II: The Driller Killer with no worries at all, but an intelligent, well-researched work rooted in history is banned. Something’s wrong here, and it doesn’t bode well for the future of censorship in Australia.’
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1 November 2000
[music] Guardian Unlimited profiles Tim Westwood. A profile? It’s a turkey-shoot! ‘To the half million British fans who listen to his weekend shows on Radio 1, he is, quite simply, Westwood: the face of hip-hop. The white face of hip-hop. Straight outta Lowestoft, son of Bill, the late Bishop of Peterborough. No, make that the white, faintly wrinkled face of hip-hop, complete with transatlantic intonation and studied lexicon of mad skills and hot goddamn beats. Better yet, the white, faintly wrinkled, public-school-educated face of hip-hop, in his bright red van with his name painted on the side.’
[disney porn] Is Walt Disney frozen in the Magic Castle? Probably not. But there is a shot of a topless woman in a couple of frames of The Rescuers — which I went to see at the cinema many many years ago! Did Disney corrupt my childhood? [ Related Links: Disney at Urban Legends Ref , via Cabin Pressure]
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