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19 April 2001
[tv] The Independent profiles Dom Joly… ‘he has decided to abandon his trademark giant mobile phone and hunker down to other projects that involve less public humiliation.”I don’t want to become the nation’s prankster,” he reflects. “Because they tend to be arses, really.” And also, maybe, because the prankster’s moment of hubris cannot be deferred indefinitely. “I had this terrible thought yesterday when I was taking my baby daughter for a walk in her stroller. I did a joke in the first series where a baby gets pulled into the air by a balloon. And I just thought, what if someone runs over the stroller in a car, and leers out the window and shouts ‘Aha! You don’t fool me!’ It would be dreadful. And I’d deserve it.”‘
18 April 2001
[confession time meme] Tom: ‘Come to think of it, teenage fetishes have a lot to answer for.’ Okay, time to be honest — for me it was…. urm… Carly Simon and Catwoman… and later I had ‘feelings’ for… Servalan from Blake Seven. But Carly was my first pointless crush of many… :)
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[politics] Proof that the Tory Party is indeed The Dogs Bollocks… [thanks to Meg — blogging via proxy!]
[comics] After Tangent there can only be…. Dave Sim’s Guide To Getting Chicks! ‘I’ve found that, with a little practice, it’s easy to go without sex entirely. Now that you’ve tamed that female, let her go. She’s under the mental size limit. It’s catch and release at the ol’ Sim fishin’ hole. I’m perfectly happy doing my puzzle books and lots and lots of push-ups. In fact, I’ve found that by going celibate and not masturbating, the sexual urge is like a rash that goes away on its own. A dirty, sinful, bad rash. It’s ugly. I hate it! I scrub and scrub but the filth just won’t. come. OFF.’
17 April 2001
[sick fun] Misery 2 — Hobble Bill Gates. [via WEF]
[blogs] Dan has some interesting comments on the Barbelith / UKBloggers cross-over — I’ve noticed a number of UKBloggers have joined the Underground and there are plenty of Barbelith bloggers… (if you’re reading this post late look at Dan’s blog for 15/4/01). ‘Still, as microcultures both are absolutely fascinating. I for one am looking forward to the increasingly inevitable joint meeting, given Tom’s deitic status within both and the increasing cross-pollination from one to the other.’
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[comics] Interesting interview with Kyle Baker at Silver Bullet Comics… ‘Television is designed for one thing: To sell advertising time. Television by necessity celebrates and incubates materialism. The goal of a television writer is to put an audience in a frame of mind favorable to buying the advertiser’s product. As writers, we are clearly instructed to avoid writing anything which may offend anyone. Phrases or situations that may seem tame or realistic to us are routinely cut from scripts because conservatives in the Midwest may be disturbed, and therefore may not buy detergent from the sponsor.’ [via Pete@Bugpowder]
16 April 2001
[tank man] The Unknown Rebel — Time profiles China’s Tank Man… ‘Almost nobody knew his name. Nobody outside his immediate neighborhood had read his words or heard him speak. Nobody knows what happened to him even one hour after his moment in the world’s living rooms. But the man who stood before a column of tanks near Tiananmen Square–June 5, 1989–may have impressed his image on the global memory more vividly, more intimately than even Sun Yat-sen did. Almost certainly he was seen in his moment of self-transcendence by more people than ever laid eyes on Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein and James Joyce combined.’
15 April 2001
[comics] McCloud Cuckoo-Land — Gary Groth looks at Scott McCloud’s Reinventing Comics. ‘What is most deficient about the 113-page section devoted to comics and the Internet is the level of critical intelligence on display, which is embarrassingly superficial: McCloud embraces all Internet and digital technology without reservation. The bibliography doesn’t allow for any books remotely questioning of the new world order. Every book about computers or the Internet (and there aren’t many, at that) is basically by a well-known cheerleader for the industry; no dissidents are allowed in the McCloudian world view. In McCloud’s jolly and affirmative presentation, the Internet is an instrument of comics’ (not to say the world’s) salvation and skeptics are dismissed as “cynics,” to whom McCloud may as well hang a “Do Not Enter” sign on the cover of the book.’
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[nasty profiles] One of the pleasures of reading newspapers is seeing bitter journalists take pot-shots at celebrities in the form of a so-called profile …. here is one of Heather Mills from the Sunday Times. On Paul McCartney: ‘Even before the two were itemised, she was confiding in the tabloids about her new friend. In a neat reversal of Mrs Merton’s famous question to Debbie McGee (“So what attracted you to millionaire Paul Daniels?”), Mills declared: “Paul is such a caring, thoughtful and compassionate man. I suppose that must be the reason he was drawn to me”.’ [ Related Links: About Heather Mills]
14 April 2001
[tv] Slightly revealing profile of Chris Evans… ‘Not all women were impressed by the Evans persona. The commentator Emma Forrest wrote in The Independent: “He is, when you come down to it, a classic insecure ugly man, which is why so much of his air time is taken up telling us which models and which blonde assistants he has shagged. The worst segments on TFI are ‘Ugly Bloke’ and ‘Fat Lookalikes’. That he feels he is in enough of a position of power to sit behind his desk, looking how he does, and get ‘ugly’ people to humiliate themselves in front of millions, is astounding.”‘
12 April 2001
[wtf?] Only on the Internet… ‘I’m not a Nazi’ Swastika Gallery. ‘The Swastikas in this gallery are related to Buddhists, ancient Greeks, Native Americans, Boy Scouts, street gangs, Nazis, homosexuals, and more… what a great variety of people to invite to a party! So why include Nazi Swastikas? As insane and dangerous as the Nazis were, you gotta admit they looked cool! They lost the war, but they won the fashion show. What other army’s officers wore full length black leather trench coats, high black boots and riding crops?’ [via Hate Male]
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[comics] Dave Sim’s final word on gender issues…. Tangent. Discussion about Sim and Tangent is going on here. ‘I think he’s out of his mind, but it’s kind of fascinating. I think Dave should ditch the aardvark and do Chick-style comics, like the Crusaders. He could draw himself and Gerhard as agents for the top-secret Government team, T.A.N.G.E.N.T, trying to cripple the feminist/homosexualist axis before it takes control of society, by rallying all the Men in the world who want to defend their right to smack the ol’ lady around a little if she stops bringing those beers every 15 minutes during the NASCAR marathon. Ger could be depicted as a black “street-dude”, lending cred at Dave’s side and helping him sacrifice all the homos, dog-fuckers, and ugly virgins that come their way. And all this before breakfast!’ — Eric Reynolds on Sim.
[sex] Norman Mailer on sex, love, ethics and pornography… ‘I think most of us aren’t good enough for love. I think self-pity is probably the most rewarding single emotion in the world for masturbators, which is one of the reasons, I suppose, I’m opposed to masturbation, because it encourages other vices to collect around you. Self-pity is one of the first. You lie in bed, pull off, and say to yourself, I have such wonderful, beautiful, tender, sweet, deep, romantic, exciting and sensual emotions, why is it that no woman can appreciate how absolutely fabulous I am? Why can’t I offer these emotions to someone else? Self-pity comes rolling in, and cuts us off from recognizing that love is a reward. Love is not something that is going to come up and solve your problems.’ Hmmm. That’s me fucked then. Note to self: Don’t read this kind of thing at this time of night. You’ll feel better for it. Trust me. [via Metascene]
11 April 2001
[comics] A nice one page comic from Adrian Tomine…. First Date Signals.
[tv] You ask the Questions to… David Soul. ‘There’s a classic moment in the credits of Starsky & Hutch when I come running down some stairs, step on to a wall and do a “seat-drop” on top of my car. It is, without a doubt, the stupidest, most painful self-inflicted stunt I ever did. No stuntman would have been that stupid. Two years later, it cost me back surgery. Big price for the sake of a little ego.’
[politics] Alastair Campbell on the Royal Family… ‘Prince Edward would not normally be allowed house room in a column which likes to deal with serious subjects, and Majesty magazine would not normally be allowed across the Campbell threshold. But some statements are so mind-blowing they cannot be ignored. I quote from the said prince in the said magazine: “In this country we’re always looking down, always looking in, trying to belittle ourselves. All this constant thing about class, for instance, which is the worst thing in the world Marx ever invented.” Invented!! Can you believe he said that?’
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10 April 2001
[comics] Brian Michael Bendis interviewed from an Australian comic convention… ‘…so to come to a convention and see a room full of people all that just love comics, it makes you feel good about comics, it makes you feel like comics will always be around, there’s too many people around that want them for it to be otherwise. Also, in America, conventions can get a little… “smelly”, whereas at this one everyone was clean, there wasn’t a lot of crazy people, it was very nice. People with jobs, futures, spouses, and there were kids at the show too, which you don?t get much of that in America, so that’s nice.’
[redmond rose] This lady really wants to help Bill Gates… ‘My Angel want’s Bill Gates to leave Microsoft. He is trying to protect you Bill. He want me to help you, but I need to get paid. Remember when I did the satellite research for you? I am just the porthole–the messenger. He doesn’t like the company and friends you keep. I’ve been channeling for you for 10 years. I told you–Microsoft is haunted. That is the real reason for the Moebius in your software. We need to put some of these ghost to rest. That is why I’m here. All you have to do to end this is apologize and pay restitution.’ [cheers, PB]
9 April 2001
[murder] Interesting profile of Jeremy Bamber from a few weeks back…. ‘Jeremy Bamber was sentenced to life in 1986 for the murder of five family members in their Essex farmhouse – his adopted parents, his adoptive sister and her six-year-old twins. Last week his case was referred back to the Court of Appeal by the criminal cases review commission. If the three appeal judges are more impressed by new evidence concerning a bloodstained gun silencer than they are by Bamber’s audacious website, the man who was accused of coolly plotting “the perfect crime” could be free before Christmas.’ [ Related Link: Bamber’s Website via the power of Google’s Cache]
[666] Is Prince Charles a 12 foot tall telepathic Lizard? No. He is the Anti-Christ. ‘And the beast which I saw was like a leopard, and his feet were like those of a bear, and his mouth like the mouth of a lion. And the dragon gave him his power and his throne and great authority.’ [thanks Phil]
8 April 2001
[paranoia] More from Jon Ronson…. Paranoid London – from A-Z ”P is for Prince Philip’s home (Buckingham Palace) …LaRouche adds that Prince Philip secretly determines government policy in the UK. Foot and mouth, furthermore, is a manufactured front designed to terrify the British public into joining the satanic European Union. And Prince Philip’s well-documented foot-in-mouth disease? Another front. He is not dim. He is an evil genius.’ [via Digital Trickery]
[books] Louis Theroux reviews Them: Adventures with Extremists by Jon Ronson. ‘As the book progresses, what emerges is the degree to which the real-life Bilderberg Group and the researchers who campaign against it are negatives of each other. Intentionally or not, the alleged bodies of world domination do create suspicion and resentment with their cloak-and-dagger mentality, their self-importance and their alarmism. It is no surprise to learn that some Bilderbergers quite like the idea that they are secretly running the world: it flatters their vanity.’ [ Related Link: Them at Amazon]
7 April 2001
[crime] Only in America… Henry Hill has his own website — Henry is the gangster Ray Liotta played in Good Fellas. Unsurprisingly, his website includes a Threat of the Week section… ‘How does it feel to be a stool pigeon, you rat bastard?’
[lizards] Beset By Lizards [ Part 1] [ Part 2] — Jon Ronson on David Icke. ‘…so far, to the coalition’s bafflement, Mulroney had declined to initiate legal action. Indeed, every individual accused of reptilian paedophilia by David Icke had so far failed to sue, including Bob Hope, George Bush, George Bush Jr, Ted Heath, the Rothschild family, Boxcar Willie, the Queen of England, the Queen Mother, Prince Philip, Kris Kristofferson, Al Gore and the steering committee of the Bilderberg Group. “Why do you think that is?” David Icke had asked me when I interviewed him about this matter in London. Then he turned to my notepad and thundered, “Come on, Ted Heath! Sue me if you’ve got nothing to hide! Come on, George Bush! I’m ready! Sue me! I’m naming names! Come on, Jon? Why are they refusing to sue me?” There was a silence. “Because they are twelve-foot lizards?” I suggested, smally. “Yes!” said David. “Exactly!”‘
[songs] Eugene Mirman — songs from Eugene, the marvelous crooning child. [via WEF via Plastic]
6 April 2001
[queen] Press row envelops Queen. ‘Officials insisted that reports of the Queen’s annoyance were overplayed. “She doesn’t do furious – she is supremely detached,” said one.’
[soap] The Guardian reviews last night’s Eastenders…. On Lisa: ‘She is pregnant, and you consider with horror the frightful future fruit of Lisa’s womb and Phil’s loins. It will not, you suspect, be the nicer kind of child.’ [ Related Link: BBC Episode Update]
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[weblogs] There goes the neighbourhood…. Seethru has got it’s own weblog. [via Rebuke]
[books] She is beautiful and very young — ever read a Wilbur Smith novel? I’d assumed he was dead but it turns out that Wilbur just married his 4th wife, a woman half his age from Russia…. ‘With so many children around, he says they don’t need any of their own. “We have discussed it, but the jury is out. I don’t want children. Why should I let some strange little monster into my life to destroy what to me is a perfect set-up?” Chauvinism on this scale, in these times, is almost heroic. Smith may be hamming it up, but there is no doubt that he envies the heroes of his books their absolute authority.’
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[piracy] Science Friction — Harlan Ellison goes after the fans who post his work on-line… ‘…Robertson is an archetypal member of science fiction fandom, an intensely loyal and active community of readers. For decades, sci-fi fans communicated through mimeographed zines and at annual conventions. When the Net came along, with its chat rooms, fan sites and file swapping, it was as if they’d finally made contact with the mothership. But Ellison is underwhelmed by such devotion, especially when it involves trading his stories. “At some point,” says Ellison, “you just look around and say, ‘Mother of God, the gene pool is just polluted and we really ought to turn it over to the cockroaches if we can’t do any better than this!”‘ [via WEF]
5 April 2001
[cartoon] Steve Bell’s view of the US-China Spy Plane Crisis — yesterday, today.
[blog] Weblogs.com is back along with Recently Updated UK Weblogs. Incidentally — I just noticed this neat Updated UK Weblogs sidebar for Netscape and IE from Jez at the Coffee Grounds…
[urban myth] Pickled Penis — Is John Dillinger’s 23 inch penis stored at a museum in Washington? ‘The bulge in the center of the photo (Dillinger’s arm) was supposedly mistaken by contemporary viewers of fuzzy newspaper photos for his penis, thus starting the tale of an incredibly well-endowed John Dillinger. (How he managed to die in a fully erect state was a question the public either didn’t ponder or else attributed to some rather strange misunderstandings about the process of rigor mortis.)’ [kinda via Blogadoon]
[soap] Who Shot Me? The Guardian interviews Steve McFadden ( Phil Mitchell). ‘”Working-class interests are not seen as having the same intrinsic value as middle-class ones. Opera is a middle-class interest, and it’s seen as high art. “I don’t see that as being of more worth than getting 20 million people to watch Roy tell Pat that her earrings are horrible.” He is referring to a seminal moment of ordinary pain when, as their relationship disintegrated, Pat Butcher’s husband took her to task over her gruesome jewellery. “I think that’s much more poignant, when a man tells a woman: ‘All this time I’ve lived with your earrings but they do my head in, and I’m man enough now to tell you I can’t cope with them anymore.’ It really took my breath away, that.”‘
3 April 2001
[hero] Design you own Sports / Super / Fantasy Heroes at HeroMachine. [via PopBitch]
[blogs] I’ve been remiss in not mentioning that Tom Ewing’s Blue Lines has returned — renamed as Groke…. ‘I’m already having awful template trouble, though. You can’t go home again.’
[rail] The Guardian studies the story behind the cracked rail which caused the Hatfield train disaster…. ‘The public mood, so far as one can tell, would like big fish in the net and a charge of corporate manslaughter. That is unlikely; as someone close to the Hatfield investigation said to me, you would need to find a piece of paper with such improbable words written on it as “Do not repair this track, we can’t afford it. Yrs sincerely, The Fat Controller.” More likely is a charge of manslaughter – culpable homicide – against individuals lower down the ladder, or their prosecution for a breach of the Health and Safety at Work Act.’
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2 April 2001
[politics] The Guardian interviews Michael Helseltine — another politician retiring at the next election…. ‘If you push your hair forward, how far would it go, I ask. My bet is that it would hang off his chin. “I haven’t the first idea.” Go on, try it. “No, I shan’t. I certainly won’t try it.” Go on. “No, not at all. “I didn’t always want long hair. I just had long hair. There was no conscious decision.” Come off it, hair length is a choice! “You can have a passive choice.” Laziness? “Yeeeeaassss. Indifference.” Indifference!’
[comics] Another comic-related weblog ComicGeek. Looks pretty comprehensive…
[chat] The Barbelith Underground has returned…. the bulletin board for ‘cool egghead stoner motherfuckers’.
1 April 2001
 [weblog performance anxiety] I love it when a plan comes together. Actually, a random drunken post comes together…. ‘In soothing tones, they will be ready to assist you with a selection of web links of various types – witty, profound, bizarre or even “all your base are belong to us”, if you’re really at the end of your mental tether with desperation. They can also be consulted about the news stories that you should be commenting on, or give you advice on how far you should go into details about various aspects of your personal life (rest assured that the trained advisors have a selection of metaphors or suitable quotes to hand, which you can use to comment knowingly but without fear of giving away sensitive information). In short, it’s the essential service for any tired and emotional blogger.’ [thanks to Vaughan]
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[tedious autobiography] Doing a linklog is very difficult sometimes… I often have Weblog Performance Anxiety*…. but if you spend the day drinking champagne cocktails in a bar with Mini-Me your tedious life becomes easy to blog… Goodnight! ‘Talk to the hand… ‘cos the face ain’t listening…’
* The anxious feeling a weblogger gets when other blogs they read casually update through out the day and all the sufferer of WPA can come up with is a link to a story about interest rates or something equally boring…
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31 March 2001
[comics] Superheroes are evil ‘Let’s start with Superman. The Bible never mentions life in other planets. But Superman is not from Earth; he is from Krypton. This fact alone goes contradicts the Bible. And the horror continues. Superman is raised on Earth and grows up to become a superhero. People all over the Earth start worshipping this mysterious character. And where is Jesus in this picture? Superman never mentions God or Jesus. He is probably an atheist. And people in Metropolis see him as their Lord and Savior.’ [thanks Pete]
30 March 2001
(Manually Published yesterday)
[services] Blogger is down so don’t expect any updates today….
[random link for no apparent reason] On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. ‘He had a lot of guts’ — James Bond.
What a nightmare updating by hand is… I’m going back to bed. :)
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29 March 2001
[comics] Who’s hotter? Grant Morrison or Warren Ellis? Let the fans decide…. ‘I suggest you take this down. Now.’ — Ellis. [via WEF]
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[politics] Dogged as does it — interesting profile of William Hague from a reporter who followed him around for a week…. ‘Hague works his way around the room, shaking hands, signing autographs, having his photograph taken next to candidates for the local council elections. I overhear a woman say, ‘Taller than you think, isn’t he?’ A man with a pound sign in his lapel says: ‘Isn’t that Seb Coe over by the door?’ It is. When I wander over to join Coe he says, ‘I’ve just remembered I was once kicked out of this bar when I was a student.’ (Drunken revelries, apparently. These Tories never pass up a chance to show that their formative years were ‘normal’.)’
[comics] Jack Chick vs. Freemasonary. There can be only one winner…. JESUS!
28 March 2001
[politics] As the UK elections approach it’s important to know which party the major cartoon characters are supporting. (By the way, Porky the Pig was slaughtered and burned earlier this week… so I suspect he’s not supporting Nick Brown any longer.) [thanks to Marcia]
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[comics] 90 Christian Comics Tracts by Jack T. Chick! on sale at Ebay…. ‘I remember … reading 70 tracts in one sitting and being completely convinced I had wasted my life and was going straight to hell. … It’s a truly powerful experience to have this guy yelling at you for 70 tracts.’ — Dan Clowes, comic book artist. [ Related Links: This Was Your Life!, Chick Publications]
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