[pitts] William Reith talks about the Pitt’s wedding photo. ‘This – the luxury, the security, the plunder and price of fame – is what the picture is trying to negate. It’s trying to negate the barrage balloons, the guards outside the wedding compound talking into their radios, the prison vans. It might as well be a photograph of a politician and his wife. It is spin. Here is a couple who want to pretend they are just like you and me. They know the price of milk. Knowing that we would not like them if we saw them represented by more conventional images, they have given us a more likable version of themselves. And they think they’ve taken us in!’

[farmers] The Guardian looks at why the British are so hostile towards farmers. ‘In the same Mail On Sunday that sympathised with Martin, Geoffrey Wheatcroft wrote a vigorous attack on all farmers for their “greedy whingeing”. “They are always whining,” he wrote, “and they are always holding their hands out. They expect – and they get – money to grow crops, and money not to grow crops. All in all, the way in which farming is subsidised has become the greatest single affront to British democracy. What makes it worse is the astonishing ingratitude of our farmers”.’

[men] Blokes, I feel your pain… newsUnlimited covers masculinity in crisis. :) ‘And in the carpark of that pub, alone in a T-registration Ford Capri but for the bitter-sweet, heartrending sound of Phil Collins singing Another Lonely Day in Paradise, I sat down and wept. The song ended and the late news came on. Football supporters run riot in Belgium. Another clash in the House of Commons. Two men arrested on suspicion of multiple murder. Lorry driver causes fatal crash on Ml. Lone man chews gum in high-rise. Men, men, men. Men in trouble. Men at sea. Masculinity in tatters.’

[orgy] Hacker’s orgy — fails because nobody shows up… ‘Only two people showed up, and now the would-be Dionysus is trying to recoup some of his costs by selling the shirts for $15 each. In retrospect, he realizes the orgy was probably a bad idea from its conception. “The idea came out of a conversation on IRC [Internet Relay Chat],” he says. “We were bitching about how hackers never get laid.” Even at an orgy.’ [via Guardian Weblog]

[news of the screws] Metafilter on the Jennicam scandal. ‘Because the World Wide Web is all about two things: horrifyingly stupid psychodrama, and naked chicks.’

[more inner turmoil] The alt.angst calendar. Let’s take a look at what the entry for my birthday is: “…most of us have only two or three genuinely interesting moments in our lives, the rest is filler, and at the end of our lives, most of us will be lucky if any of those moments connect together to form a story that anyone would find remotely interesting.” -Douglas Coupland, “Generation X” Hmmm….

[inner turmoil] Loads of depressing reading at the alt.angst archive… “Angst: Discovering that the background music of your life is not sweeping strings & stirring brass; but a roomful of old men, in golf clothes, continuously playing one-note pants tubas.” [Does anybody know what “one-note pants tubas” actually are?]

[news of the screws] The National Post reports on the scandal at Jennicam. ‘But today, far from being a window into the life of an ordinary young woman, JenniCam (six cameras situated around her home) provides a glimpse into a slacker’s nirvana. With seemingly no means of support besides webcam revenue, Jenni, 24, whiles away her days in her spacious well- appointed surroundings playing computer games and, quite frequently, masturbating. Last Saturday morning, visitors to the site had the treat of watching Jenni and Dex make love. Her very public betrayal of her close friend, however, has prompted many formerly devoted viewers to vow never to give her another penny. Courtney, since discharged, remains in shock. In a recent journal posting, she laments: “How am I supposed to compete with ‘Jennicam?’ She’s funny, she’s gorgeous, she’s got better furniture. This really, really sucks.”‘

[children] A father talks about his daughter’s reaction to the muder of Sarah Payne. ‘When I arrive home my daughter has more news about Sarah. “She’s dead,” she says. “It’s really sad isn’t it Daddy?” she says. Yes, I say, it’s horrible, and prepare for one of those painful conversations about why anyone could do this. But she walks off. A couple of minutes later she calls me back. “Daddy, have you seen the fairy house I made?” she asks.’

[true] Life is always stranger than fiction… the true story of a runaway princess, an american marine and the US Media… ‘Colbert adds: “no matter what the ending, it’s still a movie.” So is it being cast already? Aloe thought Brad Pitt was “a bit too laid back… Jason is a real John Wayne character, a young Steve McQueen all-American renegade, completely without fear.” Freddy Prinze Jr has already been suggested and Aloe says they want at least one big star, probably male. For the princess, Selma Hayek has already been mentioned and Aloe reckons that Shannon Elizabeth from American Pie would be ideal.’

[web] Zdnet on Ego-Surfing. ‘[..]Fouts says ego surfing is about more than the need for recognition. “I don’t have any real desire to be in the public eye,” he says. “It lets me know how accessible I am to the world. It’s nice to know that some random person from my past could find me.”‘

[vicars] The case of the missing Vicar. ‘Late last week, another churchwarden at St Paul’s, Captain Ian Powe, was arrested in connection with the allegations of harassment against Follett. Powe, who commanded HMS Yarmouth during the cod war, was released on bail and will have to return to Belgravia police station on August 8. He has vigorously protested his innocence. “I used to have an expression that worse things happen at sea,” Powe said earlier this week. “I’m not using it any more.”.’

[news] newsUnlimited on runaway teenage prodigy Sufiah Yusof. ‘In the same email she told her side of the story, accusing her father of ruining his five children’s lives by hothousing them, of exploiting her older brother’s tennis skills for money, of labelling her “Crybaby Soo-Fi” as part of his motivation technique. Worst of all, she said that when she was 11, two years before she started her maths degree at Oxford University and when everything was apparently fine, she had twice tried to kill herself. “Maybe the public will have a different view of you as devoted parents . . . I’m not Crybaby Soo-Fi any more”.’

[norfolk] Nothing interesting ever happens in Norfolk. “The women then began to strip off to distract them further, and the men escaped to their faded red Ford Granada, before trying to run the villagers down. One villager smashed a window of the car, and the raiders fled before the police arrived.”

[lads] newsUnlimited reports on the death of the Lad. “…if [Chris] Evans is no longer deemed fashionable, if a frenzy of blokish bawdy is no longer said to define the moment, what does it mean for the plethora of lads who have swum in his wash? What will become of the pretenders if Evans is no longer reckoned capable of fighting off the attentions of Robot Wars, the show scheduled by BBC2 against his, the programme that exalts the achievements of beardy boffins? Is the news that the actress Amanda Holden has left uber-lad Neil Morrissey to return to her husband, the defiantly unblokeish Les Dennis, a wider indicator of the cultural times?”

[stupidname] Tom at Blue Lines talks about how much he hates his name…. I could rant on about how awful my name is but I won’t…. it speaks for itself…. Fortunately, I went to school with a guy called “Larman Register” who I always think of when somebody takes the piss out of being called S********. You think you’ve got a awful name? Consider the horror of being called Larman! Did his parents hate him or what? I hope for his sake there is a long Norfolk tradition of calling your child Larman…

[male struggle!] newsUnlimited reports that a clenched fist is the new image of Old Spice. “Vegas has replaced it with a clenched fist as a mark of resistance against post-feminist man’s weakness for effete eau de Cologne and skin balm. “The fist is also a symbol of men’s struggle to be taken seriously by women,” he said. “I prefer to think of it not as a stopper but as five fingers of angst and frustrated male desire.”

[comics] The Guardian’s Steve Bell on the deaths in Dover. [Earlier BBC News Story]

[BOFH] Who wants to marry a SysAdmin? “There’s no time to waste. We’re all getting fatter and paler by the second. Hook up now before we can’t keep track of our processes anymore and our hair forks all to hell.” [via Just Daz]

[good links] The Weekend section in todays Guardian has a particularly good week: On The Road Again — good article about young people who take time off to travel round the world and how this type of travelling has changed since the sixties. And Mothers without Men a profile of women who choose to have babies via donor insemitation. “Increasing numbers of heterosexual women in the thirties are deciding to do without a man, and are choosing to have children on their own. Women who don’t find Mr Right no longer have to settle for Mr You’ll Have To Do, nor “accidentally” get pregnant by a lover reluctant to commit. They no longer have to accept that, if they cannot find a suitable partner, they’ll never have children, either.”

[church] newsUnlimited asks: Should you trust a Vicar?“In the case of Peter, a young and successful minister, church elders at first told him he must be mistaken when he came out as homosexual: “Don’t be silly, you’re much too hairy,” was one comment.”

[personal shite] Sunday morning would be incomplete without: a cup of tea, The Observer, one slice of cold pizza, Hollyoaks and blogging….

[dotcom] newsUnlimited covers how the boo.com staff feel after their redundancy “[..]As for the founders’ alleged profligacy, Thomson is diplomatic. “Getting through £91m in a year is quite lavish,” she says simply.”

[tech] newsUnlimited reports on family in Silicon Valley [Text-Only]. “[…] Most revealingly, perhaps, is the way in which the word “family” is slowly turning from a noun, into a verb. Parents in Silicon Valley have been overheard talking about the need for “doing family,” as if it were less of a static unit than one of many activities to be fitted around other obligations. When a parent talks about spending “quality time” with his child, it is not a vague reference to hanging out with him or her on the weekend. It is used as a direct oppositional to “quantity time,” with the belief that, like everything else in Silicon Valley, if you concentrate hard enough you can achieve just as much in a condensed period as across a longer stretch of time.”

[anarchy] Seen on the tube today — the wisdom of Eric Cartman: “Capitalism sucks ass!” and Moon at the Monarchy 2000.

[interview] An interview with John Diamond [Text-Only] in the Observer. Diamond’s columns can be found at The Times Website. [Originally, I’d decided not to link to the John Diamond interview but it stuck in my mind for a couple of days, a friend mentioned it to me and I suddenly realised that columnists in newspapers and webloggers probably have a lot in common…]

[my inner turmoil] Do you think your friends, family and colleagues hate you? You can tell! The most common means of doing so were: being reserved by avoiding all intimate topics of conversation; not asking questions, so as to speed up any interaction; treating the other person as a stranger; physically avoiding them; not paying attention to them; and showing excessive politeness. [from newsUnlimited]

[uk news] BBC News asks: Would you use a unisex toilet? “I’ve encountered unisex toilets in various places, but yes, some men urinate on toilet seats. On most occasions it doesn’t bother me, but it’s disgusting for the lasses.”

[news] newsUnlimited meets the oldest women and man in the world. [Text Only] “Draining the last from another bottle of beer he stands up, clutching his documents. ‘Right, I’ve had enough. I want everyone to fuck off because I’m tired.’ He walked off, leaving a little pile of empty beer bottles and two cigarette ends, marking his place in time”

newsUnlimited asks: Would you get baptised just to please your dying father? No. [Text Only]

[misc] BBC News asks: Could you ditch your mobile?

[music] Mick Jagger’s schooldays sound just as pointlessly violent and stupid as mine. “The most damaging revelation comes from friend and classmate Dick Taylor who dents his later hellraising image. “He wasn’t a rebel in any way, shape or form. He was one of the best-spoken people there, ” he said.”

I am off to King’s Lynn in Norfolk for the weekend. There are no pay-as-you-surf internet shops in Lynn so the chances of updates this weekend are about the same as something interesting happening at the King’s Literary Festival [Text-only Link].

[Movies] I’m off to see Clockwork Orange….

How to sack your bank manager. I wish.. [Text-Only Link]

BBC News on maddening mobiles. These boys do something about it: phonebashing.