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[conspiracy] Or perhaps: New Theories Suggest Kennedy Wasn’t Shot‘After 11 years of painstaking research, Musashi uncovered testimony from anonymous eyewitnesses who claimed that unopened packets of duck sauce and soy sauce were hastily removed from Air Force One after the assassination. According to the book’s findings, the extremely high levels of monosodium glutamate combined with the stress of mediating an intense international ballistic-missile crisis caused Kennedy’s systolic pressure to mount to the point where the right rear quarter of his cranium “shot clean off.”‘

More on JFK’s Assassination from the Onion

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 6th, 2008 at 7:26 am and is filed under Conspiracy, Funny.

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