[BOFH] Who wants to marry a SysAdmin? “There’s no time to waste. We’re all getting fatter and paler by the second. Hook up now before we can’t keep track of our processes anymore and our hair forks all to hell.” [via Just Daz]

[tech] UK ADSL Guide. [I have a crazy dream — cheap unmetered internet access in my lifetime… ]

[minogue] Charlotte Raven on Kylie’s bottom. “Only clearing the net by a couple of inches, Kylie plainly hasn’t spent the day playing tennis. Her racket is loose in her left hand and the all-over-sheen of her body suggests that she’s spent longer being airbrushed in Photoshop than in the elements.”

[MP3] Napster endgame — The US Music Industry moves to close down Napster. Totally pointless, of course, the Net has moved on… check out Gnutella.

[weblogs] How can I have missed UberSearch? [yet another weblog search engine]

[music] newsUnlimited on the semi-breakup of Oasis. “What’s going on is that I’ve had a major disagreement with monkey boy, the singer[…]”

[monarchy] Christopher Hitchens on the the British Royal Family in newsUnlimited. “An old English radical slogan has it that the problem is not the will of some to power, but the will of others to obey. I think that it’s literally true that many people can’t imagine life without the Windsors. And my quarrel is with that very mentality, much more than it is with any actual or potential monarch. One doesn’t wish to demolish people’s household gods, or rip away their comfort blankets, but couldn’t they be just as happy as Jacobites once were, cultivating nostalgia and illusion while leaving the rest of us to get on with it?” [via BlueLines]

[tv] Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligans Island. I’ve been interested in Gilligan’s Island for years… but I’ve never seen an episode! As far as I know it has not been shown on British TV in living memory… but Americans seem to refer to it endlessly in comics and on the internet and for ages it has fascinated me — Who were Gilligan and Skipper? What were they all doing on that Island? Eventually, I found out all the details… but I’ve still never seen an episode… and I’m not sure I’d want to! [via pearls that are his eyes]

[kylie] Following on from yesterday’s post — here is photographic proof of Minogue’s tiny deformed ears… and interestingly it took me ages plowing through Kylie fan sites photos to come up with ones showing her ears. Conspiracy?

[weblogs] Amusing as hell: neighbour sex “uhhhnngghhh…..ahhhhnnghhhh…..pullout, pullout, Pullout, PULLOUT, PULLOUT!!!!” [via Steal This Blog!. It’s being blogged everywhere but I saw the line above and thought: “If that’s not a Linkmachinego quote I don’t know what is!”]

[therapy] I was very tempted not to blog this story about Minogue…. but I decided I just wanted to mention… um…. that Kylie Minogue has tiny deformed ears! Why has nobody else noticed this? Her head is to big for her ears! Why is nobody in the media covering this? I, for one, am not interested in Minogue’s arse!!

[tech] Danny O’Brien on mobile phones in America. “Sometimes, when I’m swearing at the bizarre features of my clunky little American phone, I show engineers my old Virgin Nokia. Everyone coos over the dinky size and curved-form factor. They’re delighted by the cutesy interface. One friend’s jaw physically dropped open when he turned the machine off and a little hand icon waved him goodbye. When I tell them about how kids send text messages to one another during class, they go bug-eyed. It’s as though I’d announced that all Europeans all have their own personal fork-lift trucks.”

[comics] Nice summary/FAQ about Kevin Smith’s comics from ViewAskew

[good links] The Weekend section in todays Guardian has a particularly good week: On The Road Again — good article about young people who take time off to travel round the world and how this type of travelling has changed since the sixties. And Mothers without Men a profile of women who choose to have babies via donor insemitation. “Increasing numbers of heterosexual women in the thirties are deciding to do without a man, and are choosing to have children on their own. Women who don’t find Mr Right no longer have to settle for Mr You’ll Have To Do, nor “accidentally” get pregnant by a lover reluctant to commit. They no longer have to accept that, if they cannot find a suitable partner, they’ll never have children, either.”

[web] newsUnlimited reports that Tim Berners-Lee doesn’t like ads on web sites. “Newspapers insert a line saying an ad is an advertisement when it looks confusing. I want to see something similar on a web page. Perhaps the mouse should change shape when it passes over an ad to alert you to the fact.”

[comics] Warren Ellis interviews Grant Morrison. “Fans of comics like INVISIBLES and JLA may be interested to know that I was Mr. DeFalco’s unwilling ‘bitch’ for most of the late 80s. Because I was quite young-looking and fairly skinny, I could quickly be done up with a bit of curtain as an ideal ‘visiting niece’ whenever one of Tom’s morbid testosterone build-ups was giving him grief.”

[books] newsUnlimited reports that christian apocalyptic fundamentalists set to knock Harry Potter off top of the book charts in the US. “In interviews, Mr LaHaye appears to be the more driven member of the successful duo, saying that the books’ message ‘is the greatest message of hope in the world’. Mr Jenkins, by contrast, seems more worldly. ‘There are some times when I think I was born for this project,’ he said recently. ‘Other times I think I was born to play golf.'”

[comics] Yesterday was a good day to visit a comic shop…. The first issue of Grant Morrison’s Marvel Boy came out along with Scott McCloud’s Reinventing Comics. “Comics offers a medium of enormous breadth an control for the author — a unique intimate relationship with it’s audience — and a potential so great, so inspiring, yet so brutally squandered, it could bring a tear to the eye.” — Scott McCloud

[webbogging in the UK!] writetheweb points out that UK bloggers are getting organised…

[news] Michelangelo’s David has a squint! The trick of perspective – which has taken 500 years to rumble – was a typical stroke of Michelangelo genius, according to Marc Levoy, the computer scientist from Stanford University, California, who made the discovery. He suspects it went unnoticed for so long because David’s more obvious attribute – his genitalia – blinded successive generations to the “flaw”.

[weird science] Two links that prove we have left the 20th. Century: Scientists transplant brain of eel into robot and discover that some things travel faster than light.

[comics] Grant Morrison issues a call to arms. “This is simple: if you really hate comics so badly you want to see them die, then keep filling the message boards with frustrated, ignorant bile (I’ve been reading some of this stuff and a lot of guys out there really need to get laid or take up meditation). Otherwise, let’s have a momentary ceasefire to figure out ways of rebuilding the profile of the entire comics medium. The responsibility is with us; we all know how awful it is and how crap comics are. We’ve all heard that tired old song of self-loathing long enough and it’s getting to be a real drag. If you think there’s no hope then please f*** off, die quietly and prove yourself right.” [via Barbelith]

[church] newsUnlimited asks: Should you trust a Vicar?“In the case of Peter, a young and successful minister, church elders at first told him he must be mistaken when he came out as homosexual: “Don’t be silly, you’re much too hairy,” was one comment.”

[music] newsUnlimited profiles the Dandy Warhols. “They put the ease into sleaze. Like the story of one of their label bosses who, Taylor says admiringly, ‘is a sleazy, sleazy man. He’s the coolest guy in corporate rock. If we had 10 of him at Capitol our worries would be over.'”

[comics] Great Steve Bell Cartoon on Elitism and William Hague in the Guardian today. “I, Commonsense Man shall wreak vengence on the Liberal elite”

[THE HORROR!! PART DEUX] Not So Soft provides a link to an image of KEITH CHEGWIN’S KNOB ON TELLY LAST NIGHT!! [He’s the nude guy in the pith helmet.] Plenty of commentary about this from UK Blogs: Blogging The Line, I Just Type and LukeLog.

[comics] Warren Ellis asks: Why Comics? “Comics are just words and pictures. You can do anything with words and pictures.” — Harvey Pekar.

[THE HORROR!] Sorry for the crudeness but DID I REALLY SEE KEITH CHEGWIN’S KNOB ON TELLY LAST NIGHT? I’m slowly going mad! I’m sure of it… [Not so Soft and Blogging the Line provide metal relief — they saw it too. It was either a shared hallucination or broadcast as part of Channel 5’s Naked Season]

[news] Julie Burchill on Danniella Westbrook’s nose.

[comics] Bill Clinton tells Russia that he had in the past a used comic book business: “”In my lifetime, I probably had ? earned money doing 20 or 25 different things. I’ve built houses, I’ve cleared land, I’ve worked in a grocery store. I had a used comic book business. Obviously, I was a musician. I made money as a musician. I’ve been a teacher. I’ve done a lot of different things in my life.”” Totally weird if it’s true… [via Ghost in the Machine]