[attachments] BBC News covers the new TV Series Attachments… ‘Seethru’s coder Reece is an offensive, drug-taking womaniser. Designer Jake is a self-obsessed drama queen with ambiguous sexuality and a domineering dad. Lesbian content manager Sophie is outspoken in the extreme – and writes a particularly offensive column. Then there’s socially inept programmer Brandon. He is so shy that his only release is to skateboard naked around the office when everyone else has gone home.’

[frank Butcher mp3] This made my day: My Name is… Frank Butcher! [via Bloglet, Related Link: Frank Butcher’s Philosophical Car Lot]

[whassup in the UK] Budweiser have started showing the Whassup! TV ads in the UK…

[tech] Was the real winner of Big Brother Real Media? ‘The extent of the Big Brother achievement should not be under-rated. Not only did it prove video streaming could reach a massive market, it was also a technologically smooth ride. Most of the people who signed up for the Big Brother RealPlayers were novices to the Net, yet the first job they had to do was download and install an intricate piece of software, something that even baffles experts from time to time.’ [via Yungee]

[big brother] BBC News looks at whats next for the Big Brother competitors. On Darren: ‘He spent a good deal of his time in the Big Brother house looking after the often poorly chickens, including Marjorie – his favourite. Speculation that he will soon be back on TV screens as frontman to an advertising campaign for instant chicken sauce Chicken Tonight – for a six-figure sum – should come as no surprise.’

[beeb.com] According to my flatmate [who wants me to link to this and this for some reason] the BBC has released it’s first commercial television advertisement… it’s advertising beeb.com a internet shopping site.

[more big brother] The Daily Express interviews the Big Mother behind BB… On Nasty Nick: “It was obvious we had to get him out. People asked why we didn’t get rid of him earlier but this was the first time we had concrete proof he’d been trying to sway nominations and he was told he had to go. He came straight out of the house and into the back of a car. I was with him. We drove out to Welwyn Garden City to a hotel. He was very shaken and upset and had absolutely no concept of the scale of the big debate, so for the first four hours it was my job to gently tell him that he was probably the most talked about man in Britain…and that it wasn’t all good.”

[big brother] Desmond Morris on the Human Zoo that is Big Brother. ‘The housemates were nextdoor neighbours to millions of us, and gave us a great deal of innocent fun. If ever you find yourself in the midst of a remote tribe, living in primeval conditions and you investigate what they are chatting about around the fire, you can be certain that they will not be reminiscing about their tribal myths or ancestor figures, but gossiping incessantly about village trivia. Gossip is the oil that lubricates social conversation and that helps us to understand our tribal relationships and our shared feelings and attitudes. In an urban world, this village smalltalk finds it hard to survive. Many people hardly know their neighbours. Big Brother has given us, briefly, a small group of national neighbours and we have all enjoyed comparing notes about them the following day. That’s all it is, a bit of gossipy fun, and good luck to it.’

[tv] seethru.co.uk goes live… reads a bit like a weblog “music – wit – no shit my personal Internet filter” But it’s not. It’s a manufactured website for the new TV series Attachments.

[teletext] Ceefax in amber — here’s the news headlines from Monday 3rd October 1983. [via Playing with Cobras]

[simpsons] Adrian Hon sends me a link to a talk Matt Groening gave on Futurama. ‘Matt: “Please change line where Bender says “Bite my red hot glowing ass” to “Bite my red hot glowing butt.” [audience hysterical laughter] Dave C.: “Please lose Bender’s line suggesting that 20th century TV sets caused “Eye cancer.” [biggest laugh of the show yet, standing ovation]”‘

[simpsons] Eat my censors — Matt Groening discusses censorship with Jonathan Ross. ‘Can I read another censor note? “Bart does a yo-yo trick; please substitute the name of the yo-yo trick, spanking the monkey, which has a sexual meaning.” Then get this: they also didn’t like the yo-yo trick called whacking the weasel. However it says: “as discussed with Al Jean, Bart’s clearly enunciated ‘plucking the pickle’ will be an acceptable substitution.”‘ [Related Link: The Patron Saint of LinkMachineGo — Comic Book Guy]

[saville] plasticbag.org covers the the whole Saville hoax transcript meme… [#1] [#2] ‘Anyway. Such a document is clearly legally dubious at best, and since there is no evidence attached to the e-mail, it would seem logical to try to assume that it is entirely spurious as well. (In which case, of course, you would be talking vast potential libel damages.) But the strange thing about this particular meme is that most people who received the letter in question (including me – and I consider to be extremely cynical about chain e-mail) thought it to be at least plausible.’ [Interesting fact: If you type “Saville Hoax” into Google the first item you get up is a directory entry on Chris Morris. Hmmm….]

[eastenders] An Eastenders scriptwriter discusses the problems of introducing a new family in a long running TV soap. ‘To make this predictable universe work on the screen, you need characters who are relatively stable (even if they are unstable). The writers and the viewers buy into a myth that people aren’t particularly complex, that the full range of their feelings and actions can be revealed in a few hours on the TV. And a quick, visible way of revealing characters is to mirror them in their occupation. Thus we have Pauline Fowler, long-suffering drudge and matriarch. What better job than folding pants all day in the launderette? Or Peggy Butcher – tough but fun-loving and gregarious. So she runs the pub. But what attributes spring to mind when we think of Italian restaurants? Fond of pasta, perhaps? Permanently overworked? The job never provided an easy route into understanding the di Marcos’ characters.’ [Related Link: Eastenders]

[not this life] Preview of the new dot.com drama on BBC2 called Attachments which has a website which is part of the story. ‘Attachments centres on the efforts of Mike and his wife Luce to transform his new music website, seethru.co.uk, from a bedroom hobby into a viable internet content business offering news, reviews and gossip. Frazzled dot.com executives will recognise the couple’s struggle to secure venture capital funding without having to give away too much control of their fledgling company. Those lower down the new economy food chain will be able to identify with an internet start-up office divided along content writer versus techie versus programmer versus designer social faultlines. They will also recognise the long periods idled away playing computer games and emailing mates, punctuated by short bursts of frenzied, work-through-the-night activity as deadlines loom.’ [Related Link: seethru.co.uk]

[savile meme hoax] Excellent, compelling reading — a HOAX transcript of out-takes from Have I Got News For You between Ian Hislop, Jimmy Savile and Paul Merton. If only it were true… [Related Links: Hoax Confirmation, Tsluts, the Savile meme spreads]

[adrian mole] Adrian Mole on Nick Bateman: ‘I have been brutally betrayed! I feel humiliated and sick! How could he have told such terrible lies to me over the past five weeks? I admired him so much. He was the type of man I would have liked to have been myself. He was a man who could cope with adversity (the death of his young wife in a car crash). A man who led other men (an officer in the Territorial Army). He was also a healer (like Jesus), and a reiki master to boot.’

[simpsons] The Evening Standard meets Matt Groening. “I haven’t figured out whether comedy is truly healing or whether it’s merely a bandage on the wound. It is momentarily cathartic but then you see comedians who are great on stage and depressed afterwards. Basically, we all want to be loved. Maybe my secret is that I can’t ask for it directly so I ask for it through a cartoon. ‘Hey, please love my cartoon, while I’ll just sit over here.’ If they go ‘heh, heh’ maybe that means they like me a little, too.”

[big brother] Charlotte Raven on the social debt we owe to Big Brother. ‘The annoying thing about all of this for those of us who stick with popular culture in the lean times as well as the good, is that dilettantish tendency to gather up all the glory without putting in the hours. If you haven’t sat through six months of crap EastEnders, I don’t see what gives you the right to come in for the Christmas episode and talk about Tiffany’s death as if you cared as much as we did.’

[chegwin porn!] My referrer logs tell me that many people come to LMG to look for naked pictures of Keith Chegwin… which always makes me laugh. Apparently he’s refusing all requests to show clips from the gameshow he appeared nude in again and according to BBC News a video of the program is about to be released which he will make a hefty profit from. LMG will link to the video as soon as it’s available. :) [Related Links: Channel 5 criticised in Commons, Original LMG posting, Original notsosoft posting]

[big brother] Guardian Unlimited covers how Nasty Nick’s departure from Big Brother helped converge TV and the internet. ‘But if the convergence between the internet and TV isn’t to become a collision, these media need to work together. Being big on the internet doesn’t necessarily mean that TV viewing figures will decline. Viral marketing? Bollocks. Call it good old-fashioned word of mouth. Internet page impressions went through the roof and boosted, not hindered, the TV audience that night. If the content is compelling enough and production teams plan well, the internet and TV can feed each other. It is the viewer who wins.’

[big brother] Guardian Unlimited asks: Where were you when Nick was kicked out of Big Brother? ‘The playwright Dennis Potter once explained that he had decided to write for TV rather than the theatre because only television offered the possibility of a “common culture”: one in which people of all classes and generations experienced the same event simultaneously and talked about it the next morning.’ [Related Links: Nick Bateman Appreciation Society]

[big brother] Update: Nick has been disqualified from Big Brother. Earlier: BBC News reports: Big Brother’s ‘Nasty Nick’ rumbled. ‘A Big Brother spokesman said: “The online producer panicked and hit a panic button which brought the [live video and sound internet] feed down between 0400 and 0600. “It was a mistake, it shouldn’t have happened and it won’t happen again.” However, he denied widespread rumours that the situation had turned into a fist-fight.’ [Related Link: Big Brother UK]

[TV] Guardian Unlimited profiles The Prisoner and Patrick McGoohan. ‘The last episode, written and directed by McGoohan, completely overdosed on weirdness pills. “Fall Out” had Number 6 gunning down guards to “All You Need is Love”, with no obvious answers to all the questions posed throughout the 17 episodes. On the night of transmission, thousands jammed the ITV switchboard, complaining about the incomprehensible finale.’ [Related Link: McGoohan at IMDB]

[simpsons] Guardian Unlimited covers the Simpsons in Edinburgh. ‘At the beginning of the evening, by way of introduction, the man from Sky 1 noted: “Unlike Friends, the cast don’t get older and the scripts just get better.” Nor do they get $750,000 an episode. But then, the cast of The Simpsons are only really famous for what they actually do, and not for having nice hair or great pecs.’

[tv] Boom Box — Michael Lewis on TiVo and ReplayTV. ‘They’re seizing control of a $50 billion industry from its creators; there’s more than enough booty to go around. “The one question our investors did ask us,” Ramsay says, “is ‘How long will it take for the TV networks to hate you so much that they shut you down?””

[big brother] GuardianUnlimited asks: Is Big Brother just like working in an office? “‘Dishonest gossip, lack of co-operation, unkind looks and sneers, the intolerance of dissent – all are now regarded by many American workplace psychologists as classic symptoms of ‘mobbing’. And they are also, of course, all leitmotivs of the Big Brother household. ‘Big Brother appears to be a microcosm of work, just as work is a microcosm of society,’ said Ishmael.”

[big brother] The Observer finds somebody to praise Nasty Nick… ‘Even his name bears testament to his mission. Nicholas is clearly a reference to Niccolo Machiavelli, the founding philosopher of group intrigue. And Bateman is of course a nod to Patrick Bateman, the homicidal stockbroker who ruthlessly eliminates his rivals in Bret Easton Ellis’s American Psycho.’

[big brother] This is London pits UK Big Brother vs. US Big Brother. ‘So far there has only been one US drama when Karen, the oldest woman in the group, publicly dumped her husband in front of the TV cameras as she entered her temporary home. But there is little of the nastiness and sexual tension which makes watching the British gang so compelling.’

[big brother] GuardianUnlimited profiles ‘Nasty’ Nick Bateman. ‘On Wednesday night’s show, the voiceover wrapped up incredulously, “Nick is now the most popular man in the house,” and Caroline and Nichola, those two “brainless rooks”, were captured on the Big Brother sofa, sharing a tender word about him. “Poor Nick,” said Caroline. “He’s so delicate.” Shakespeare himself could not have wrought a better intrigue. Recall Edmund’s defiant cry: “I grow; I prosper: now, gods, stand up for bastards!”‘

[bacon] How many degrees of seperation between Kevin Bacon and Detective Chisholm (from Minder)? [Related Links: Patrick Malahide’s website, Minder fan-site]

[simpsons] The Interactive Ralph Wiggum ‘”I saw Principle Skinner and Ms. Hover in the closet making babies, and I saw the baby and it looked at me”‘

[big brother] Nick has a heart-2-heart with Big Brother. ‘”Everyone has a certain amount of selfishness,” he replied. “Everyone has a slight devious streak in them. In this environment it can just bring those to the surface because we’re all here to enjoy ourselves primarily. But secondly we’re all here to take part in a game show that has an ultimate prize at the end of it.”‘

[simpsons] The Observer takes a look at ten years of the Simpsons. ‘Perhaps drawn by the show’s numerous highbrow cultural references, it attracts the attention of rhapsodising academics and literati worldwide. Edinburgh’s Napier University, for example, now runs a course in its Cultural Studies module entitled ‘Having the Donut and Eating It: Self-Reflexivity in The Simpsons’. The writer Gilbert Adair declared that ‘The Simpsons is a chef-d’oeuvre to which the work of no currently practising English-language novelist is comparable in importance or greatness.”

[big brother] This has got to be a blow to a man’s self-esteem: ‘When the news finally arrived Andy’s face said it all – he couldn’t accept the awful truth that the public wanted him out. But 68% of more than a million voters wanted him go. And as his confidence crumbled at the sound of his own name Andy’s face was complete shock. All he could say was: “Fuck.”‘ And Thomas does not really help: ‘”Look on the bright side,” he told him, “at least you can go home and have a good wank.”‘ [Other Links: BBC News report, notsosoft, Barbelith.]

[on the buses] How many degrees of seperation between Kevin Bacon and Blakey (from On The Buses)? ‘I’ve got you Butler!“

[big brother] A couple of reports — According to BBC News Sada wants to be a TV Presenter and newsUnlimited covers the whole Big Brother phenomenon… ‘Conflict is inherent in Big Brother because it is a competition. Treachery is essential, as Nick, the stockbroker, has realised. Maligned by the media he may be – the Sun’s Dominic Mohan has started a Kick Out Nick campaign – but Nick is liked by his housemates. In this week’s vote on eviction, no one has voted to have him ousted. He plays the game too well, as proved by his exploits last week, when he encouraged everyone to vote for Sada and Caroline’s expulsion then provided them with a shoulder on which to cry.’

[ads] Blast from the past — umbongo.com.

[big brother] BBC News Big Brother update… ‘For her part, Sada described Andrew as “the worst type of man”, while softly-spoken Thomas revealed he may have a nine-year-old love child – if two fortune-tellers are to be believed.’

[tv] What will happen to The Philisophical Car Lot if Frank Butcher leaves Eastenders? “G-g-g-g-go!!“

[tv] Burnside: “You are nicked, you slag!”. newsUnlimited covers the programme… ‘Now, with six post-watershed hours of his own to play with at last, Burnside begins as he means to go on. Five minutes into the first episode and we’ve been treated to a couple of “shits” and a “wanker” – words you’d never hear from his colleagues at Sun Hill. And the bodycount has gone through the roof. No longer fighting The Bill’s unglamorous war against shoplifting single parents and domestic violence, Burnside now faces Uzi-wielding Yardies, international gun-runners and warped serial killers. “Dark and adult”, is how the show’s producer Jamie Nuttgens describes it all. “The Bill has faced some criticism in the past but with Burnside we’ve pulled out all the stops”.’

[ali g] Ali G Interactive Rapper [Requires Sound Card and Flash]

[tv] newsUnlimited reports that the Germans are to to remake Fawlty Towers. ‘Basil: “So that’s two eggs mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goering and four Colditz salads … no, wait a moment, I got a bit confused there, sorry … I got a bit confused because everyone keeps mentioning the war, so could you…” German: “Will you stop talking about the war!” Basil: “Me? You started it!” German: “We did not start it.” Basil: “Yes you did, you invaded Poland…”‘

[tv] Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligans Island. I’ve been interested in Gilligan’s Island for years… but I’ve never seen an episode! As far as I know it has not been shown on British TV in living memory… but Americans seem to refer to it endlessly in comics and on the internet and for ages it has fascinated me — Who were Gilligan and Skipper? What were they all doing on that Island? Eventually, I found out all the details… but I’ve still never seen an episode… and I’m not sure I’d want to! [via pearls that are his eyes]

[THE HORROR!! PART DEUX] Not So Soft provides a link to an image of KEITH CHEGWIN’S KNOB ON TELLY LAST NIGHT!! [He’s the nude guy in the pith helmet.] Plenty of commentary about this from UK Blogs: Blogging The Line, I Just Type and LukeLog.

[THE HORROR!] Sorry for the crudeness but DID I REALLY SEE KEITH CHEGWIN’S KNOB ON TELLY LAST NIGHT? I’m slowly going mad! I’m sure of it… [Not so Soft and Blogging the Line provide metal relief — they saw it too. It was either a shared hallucination or broadcast as part of Channel 5’s Naked Season]

[clerks] Kevin Smith talks about the Clerks Animated series. “There’s really no pressure on us because at this point it’s not as if we have to get good ratings to stay on, as we’re not going to be coming back. Having said that, however it does on TV, you have to figure that the worst night would probably reach more people than most of our films have reached theatrically. Potentially, if we let it run on TV and receive some nice feedback, then maybe we can turn it into a feature with a viable box office prospect ahead of it.”

[wisdom] The wisdom of Ralph Wiggum: “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”

[tv] The wisdom of Starsky and Hutch… Everything i ever needed to know i learned from Starsky and Hutch: “There’s got to be more to life than just breathing in and breathing out.” [Starsky and Hutch are on weekdays in the UK on Granada Plus at the moment]

[sport] How Grandstand was cancelled [from newsUnlimited]. “The premier league clubs expect to realise around £2bn from auctioning the various rights packages. By chance £2bn is roughly the BBC reaped in licence fee income last year to fund its two television channels and five radio stations, plus its new digital ventures.”