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1 June 2001
[politics] Boris’s problem: he actually says what he thinks. Simon Hoggart on Boris Johnson‘…he is too honest. He can’t help saying what he means. I asked how William Hague was playing on the doorstep and he replied, “Huge, oh huge!” But that is not true, and so he can’t leave it there. He made massive, swooping, burying-head-in-hands motions, to show what he really meant. A woman said she had always voted Tory, but not this time. “You don’t engage me at all. You have too many people in the party now who are from a different planet entirely. And you’re going to win and be in a morale-destroying minority, when you could have a much better time editing the Spectator. And what about your wife and children?” Boris groaned, presumably because he suspected she was right on all counts.’
[books] You ask the Questions… Nick Hornby. On Maidenhead: ‘…No, Maidenhead’s great if you aren’t interested in any form of rock music. Or the cinema. Or the theatre. Or books. If, however, your main cultural interests are not-getting-mugged and commuting, it’s the place to be.’
[comics] Back Cover to Cerebus #185Jeff Smith, Vijaya Smith and Dave Sim on a beach in Puerto Rico. ‘The Donkey. The Lima Bean. And Mrs. Lima Bean. In San Juan, Puerto Rico. On the beach. On a very nice day. “Ho Ho” says the Lima Bean, “The Donkey is JEALOUS for there is no fine looking Mrs. Donkey for him.” The Donkey is smiling. Lima Beans never learn.’ [Related: Dear Jeff Smith]
31 May 2001
[politics] A decent fellow leading a lost cause — another profile of William Hague. ‘Despite his reputation as an orator, Hague’s ideas stubbornly refuse to take verbal flight. With an inexpressive face and a narrow vocal range, he makes no attempt to vary his pacing or trajectory. There are none of the pauses that might suggest reflection or permit emphasis. He rattles through every item on his agenda with an impressive command of his material but a lack of emotional impact. He itemises; he does not persuade. And there is a hint of aldermanic pomposity, evident since puberty. ‘
30 May 2001
[tv] Grange HillThe Gripper Stebson Years. ‘Off-screen, Mark Savage found his on-screen persona a nightmare. Wherever Mark went, people challenged him to fights and at a football match supporters told him: “Oi Gripper, you’re gonna get your ‘ead kicked in!” To make matters worse, there was a wave of copycat bullying sweeping the nation. “It was open season on Gripper”, Mark told Now magazine in 1998. “People really thought I was Gripper and pulled knives on me and all sorts.”‘ [Related: What Gripper Stebson Did Next]
[politics] Thatcher stars in Return of The Mummy‘She was immediately surrounded by Tories, protesters, television crews, reporters, uniformed policemen, special branch coppers, a man waving a 4ft cardboard cutout of her, twin girls performing karaoke versions of Abba hits, a chap with an anti-Kenneth Clarke poster, and a Scotsman with a rasping voice who accused her of hiding bribes from General Pinochet in a secret bank account – in short, a typical cross-section of modern British society. She clambered out. A woman stepped forward and shyly handed her a banana skin, which she accepted as if it were a bouquet. So when the woman began to harangue her about Tory education policy she swerved smartly away. “God bless Margaret Thatcher!” Conservatives shouted. “Boo! Out, out, out!” others shouted. “But she is out!” one of the Tories raged.’
[distraction] Freak Watcher’s TextbookIron Mike: ‘The one redeeming quality of the Iron Mike is, despite continual hangovers, he keeps a steady stream of low-paying temporary jobs that he gets from Labor-Ready — an employment agency for the unemployable. None of these positions are particularly desirable, but he makes do. The alcohol helps. With no retirement pay to look forward to, the Iron Mike generally wills himself to die on his 55th birthday. How this is accomplished is a mystery, but it often involves drugs, Mexican strippers and a goat.’
29 May 2001
[utility] The Guardian profiles P-38 GI can opener. ‘Camping equipment shops exert a powerful influence on men, even those of us who don’t camp. They are full of things that look for all the world as if you might need them someday: million candlepower flashlights, extra tent pegs, waterproof matches, freeze-dried chicken do-piaza. Extreme preparedness is the abiding theme of these items, with attendant virtues including lightness, compactness, and a workmanlike construction which transcends mere fashion. What object embodies all of the survivalist’s core beliefs better than the P-38 GI can opener?’
[comics] BBC News on India’s comic cricketers. ‘The books – which are on sale at the price of 50 rupees ($1.06) each – are largely targeted at children, and will have to compete with other popular English language comics. There are also many comics in Hindi and other Indian languages. However, the market for comics, even in English, is thought to be in millions, and the producers hope they can tap into the national enthusiasm for the genre of comic books and cricket.’
28 May 2001
[film] The Independent profiles Jerry Bruckheimer. ‘… [Bruckheimer] was one of the originators of high concept in Hollywood. We are talking high not as in high art or high church, but as in the height of a pile of $100 bills starting from the floor and reaching up to the top of Bruckheimer’s utterly groomed grey hair. Mention what critics say about his movies and he gives a shit-eating grin in which his heavy lower lip falls further. Critics don’t have points on the gross, he says. And critics aren’t necessary in show business. As befits any apostle of high-concept movies, Jerry Bruckheimer is instantly understandable: mystery, doubt, ambiguity and concealment are anathema to him.’
[politics] How one man put Bush on the ropes. ‘The tremors of the political earthquake about to strike in Washington were first felt in the plush Senate toilet on Capitol Hill. It was there, last Monday, that Senator James Jeffords of Vermont told shocked colleagues he had made a decision that would shatter their political agenda and make their new president look naive, petty and out-of-touch.’
26 May 2001
[bell] More political cartoons… Steve Bell’s Campaign Diary — commentary and sketches + his view on George Bush’s current problems…. Holy Democrat Shit!! I feel a disturbance in the Force!!
25 May 2001
[comics] The British Voice — long, interesting article on Brit comic creators in the US…. Grant Morrison (who else?): ‘In the field of comics, Neil Gaiman’s precise, lapidary language, Alan Moore’s vast, bardic Victorianism, Garth Ennis’ rolling Behanesque pub dialogues or Mark Millar’s knowing working class sleaziness can easily be traced back through various storytelling influences long present in the mainstream of British cultural life but rarely apparent in that of the US. When you add these homegrown influences to the muscular, robust inspiration of the American comics and movies we all grew up with, the result is an interesting and unique brew of high and low cultural input. The mainstream American narrative voice seem to have its roots in film noir, crime fiction and superhero comics. In Britain the wider influence of literature, music, weird TV comedies, fairy tales, war, sci-fi and ‘girls’ comics is perhaps much more obvious.’
24 May 2001
[more politics] How could I have missed this? Steve Bell does another Thatcher and Hague cartoon. ‘The EURO BOGEYMAN is going to TAX YOU TO DEATH!!’ [via Nutlog]
[big questions] Things I’ve wondered about…. What exactly does “kumbaya” mean? ‘According to ethnomusicologist Thomas Miller, the song we know began as a Gullah spiritual. Some recordings of it were made in the 1920s, but no doubt it goes back earlier. Published versions began appearing in the 1930s. It’s believed an American missionary couple taught the song to the locals in Angola, where its origins were forgotten. The song was then rediscovered in Angola and brought back here in time for the folksinging revival of the 50s and 60s. People might have thought the Gullahs talked funny, but we owe them a vote of thanks. Can you imagine sitting around the campfire singing, “Oh, Lord, come by here”? ‘
[politics] Joe Klein explores the differences and similarities between US and UK elections…. ‘I should also praise the relative absence of security here. Most American presidential candidates travel about with more armed guardians than Vespasian needed to conquer Jerusalem. John Prescott’s attacker, had he survived the secret service, would be nursing some severely damaged limbs and organs (though at least he wouldn’t have had to wait six months for NHS treatment). The absence of overwhelming security allows for the intermittent presence of humanity. John Prescott’s humanity would have been a big hit, as it were, in America – our politicians tend to go numb, and are shuffled off by their minders, when pelted with eggs, tomatoes or aborted foetuses (which has actually happened).’
23 May 2001
[more politics] Mother Goose — William Hague’s political muse interviewed in the Telegraph… ‘Mr Hague and Doreen agree on everything, except whether he should have become party leader. “We met up for lunch the day after the last election. His mother and I didn’t think he should stand as leader. We said the party would be at each other’s throats; William should bide his time. But Ernest and William’s dad said: ‘Go for it – you never get the same chance twice’.” Does she still think it was the wrong decision? “He’s made a good job of it. The press has been so hostile – it would have buried anyone else, but he doesn’t know how to lose his temper. He doesn’t wallow in self-pity. I’ve never seen him down. His aunt Marge, his mother and I do his worrying for him.”‘
[kaycee] More Kaycee Links — includes photos and archived webpages.
[politics] Steve Bell on Thatcher and Hague… here’s a report on Thatcher’s speech. ‘Earlier, as she greeted the audience at Plymouth Pavilion she said: “I was told beforehand my arrival was unscheduled, but on the way here I passed a local cinema and it turns out you were expecting me after all. The billboard read The Mummy Returns.”‘
22 May 2001
[goodfellas] Henry Hill: The Return of the Goodfella — profile of Henry Hill and new website Good Fella Henry‘No longer in the witness protection programme, Hill none the less has to lie low. This means giving his address only to close friends, keeping Rottweilers, and staying away from the old neighbourhoods, especially Brooklyn. Occasionally, he will try a disguise. “If I go to the racetrack, I put a hat and glasses on, and I take my teeth out. You can’t recognise me, trust me.”‘
[kaycee] Comprehensive list of Kaycee Nicole hoax links and FAQ. Also here’s a summing up of recent developments‘One of the local papers seems to have reached Debbie and gotten a story that her daughter Kelli and her N’Sync friends created Kaycee to meet boys. Debbie found out about it, and somehow took over the character (maybe starting out as a protection thing?), added the cancer, and it snowballed. Everything was going fine until she became SO big a net.celeb that people were insisting Kaycee attend SXSW and then JournalCon, offering airfare etc. So it would have been very unbelievable for her not to show. This is why she was “killed”.’ [via Metafilter]
[politics] Out campaigning with Britain’s most aggressive candidate…. ‘The Labour canvassers talked with awe of their candidate’s encounter with a send-them-home voter the previous day. “The difference between you and me,” said Mr Marshall-Andrews, “is that you are a racist and I am not.” “What they do for us in the war, then?” asked the man, and Mr Marshall-Andrews told him about the Indian and West Indian regiments. “While we’re at it, what did you do?” “I’m too young.” “Well, you don’t look it. And under no circumstances are you allowed to vote for me. You will not vote for me!” “I’ll vote for who I please,” the man finished lamely, making him, presumably, a “don’t know”.’
21 May 2001
[politics] What They Would Rather Say In This Already Horrendous Campaign. ‘Twat. Fucking Cunt. Shithead.’ [via AngryBlog]
[politics] John Prescott profiled in the Independent… ‘…not be surprising that the Deputy Prime Minister has seen the film Billy Elliot five times. Or that he can quote large tracts of dialogue from the story about a young boy who rebels against the strictures of working-class life to become a ballet dancer. Prescott confided in an interview earlier this year: “I do see a bit of myself in Billy. This lad Billy rose up against the prejudices of his community and against the very structure of that community and said, ‘This is what I am. This is how I want to live my life.’ And yes, that moved me. Billy Elliot dancing his heart out, to make his father understand that he must live a different life, makes me cry.”‘
[scary] Online Scientology critic seeks political asylum. ‘That’s right; a prosecutor — someone who managed to graduate from a university, then a law school, and then pass the California Bar Exam — actually brought charges of terrorism against someone joking on Usenet about firing a nuclear warhead at a group of people scattered all over the globe.’
[fiction] Metafilter — Kaycee did not exist. Here’s a summary of what happened‘Did anybody to do with this whole mess actually die on Monday?’
20 May 2001
[distractions] The C Team. ‘In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. They promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no-one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire The Conservative Party.’ [via Tajmahal]
19 May 2001
[wtf?] Metafilter: Is it possible that Kaycee did not exist? ‘This is a really delicate thing here. Please be really thoughtful about this. I promise I am not trying to stir the shit without cause.’
[politics] Great profile of William Hague in the Telegraph… ‘If politics is a perpetual state of war, then perhaps the enemy is best placed to weigh up the threat you pose. It was Alastair Campbell, the Prime Minister’s notoriously tough press secretary, who first alerted his boss to the strength of the new Tory leader. Campbell had noticed the Yorkshireman’s incredible stamina. ‘He’s a sticker,’ Campbell warned Blair, ‘and the British are a nation of stickers.’ It was Campbell’s private view that one day New Labour would have to watch out for plain-speaking William Hague, but he added a crucial rider: ‘If he can survive his own party.”